KI TAVO 5779

There’s just too much negativity in our world today. Political compromise is a thing of the past. People are angry. The vitriol in the media—especially social media—is beyond the pale. Even in our families, too many us don’t talk to each other. When did we lose sight of the fact that it’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable?

I think this negativity begins with our selves. Sometimes when I ask someone, “How are you?” they’ll tell me, “Well, I got up this morning and when I sat up, my forehead didn’t touch wood, so I guess I’m okay.” So, you’re better than dead! That’s it? Great!

Others, when asked “How are you?” respond, “Better.” As if to say: I’m surprised you didn’t know how sick I’ve been.

But in these anxious days, the response to that I hear most frequently is: “Hanging in!” Do people understand what images the words “hanging in” evoke? Is this the best we can do, describing ourselves as having a noose around our neck, or being a piece of meat hanging on a hook in the market?

My friends, be positive about yourself. Respond as I’ve often taught you, Baruch Hashem—thank Gd. That says it all! It’ll make you feel better and will certainly help make the person who asked feel better, rather than “hanging in.”

Monty Python loved to sing: “Always look on the bright side of life.” The song is funny, but it reflects an ancient Jewish idea. One must always see the cup as ½ full. One must always follow the Torah principle of hakarat tov (acknowledging the good), as seen in the mitzvah of the 1^st fruits our Torah portion begins with. One would bring his 1^st fruits to the Temple of old, no matter how good or bad his life was, as an expression of gratitude to Gd. Life may be hard at times, but we must acknowledge and thank Gd for the blessings He showers upon us. That’s why for a people who have suffered so throughout our history, Judaism remains surprisingly upbeat and optimistic. That’s why the national anthem of the State of Israel is Hatikva (The hope).

The Lubavitcher Rebbe believed in the power of positive thinking! Yosef Williger—an emissary of the Sanz-Klausenberg Rebbe who was building a hospital in Israel—tells the story of how his Rebbe asked him to meet with the Lubavitcher Rebbe to seek his council regarding several complex issues in Jewish law relating to the running of a hospital. In the meeting, the Lubavitcher Rebbe answered the questions and then asked: “Why do you call it a Beyt Cholim—Hebrew for ‘hospital’ but literally, ‘house of the sick.’ Better you should call it a Beyt Refuah ‘a house of healing.’ That’s what a hospital should be, not a place for the sick but a place to be healed.” Emphasize the positive. 

The Rebbe would never say that he was undertaking a task, because it might be associated with the word “undertaker.” Likewise, he never referred to a “deadline,” rather to a “due date” pointing out that the word “deadline” makes reference to death, while the words “due date” is associated with birth. Al yiftach adam piv la-Satan (Don’t open your mouth to Satan) our tradition urges. How we speak and what we say influences how we think and how we act. That’s the power of positive thinking!

This optimistic attitude is reflected in Jewish law. For example, if a funeral procession and a wedding procession meet at a crossroads, the wedding procession always takes precedent and goes 1^st. Later the Rabbis would teach that we do not cancel a wedding for a funeral. Even if a close relative dies—leaving a scheduled wedding in the midst of the mourning period—we don’t cancel the wedding! In a similar way, the joyous festivals of the Jewish year end shiva, if they come out in the week of mourning. The cup is always ½ full, not ½ empty.

There’s a powerful hint of this idea in the Torah portion. The portion contains the Tochecha—a list of 98 horrible curses that will befall the Jewish people if they don’t obey Gd’s covenant. The list contains every conceivable tragic event that could possibly occur in ancient days when the Torah was written. And if you read it carefully, you’ll see that they all did, in fact, happen to us.

Did you notice, when this part of the Torah was read in shul, it was read in a low subdued voice—quietly and quickly? But the fascinating law is that one is not permitted to end this reading in middle if one wants to add an extra aliya. One must read the whole Tochecha and conclude the aliya with an upbeat verse about Gd’s covenant with us.

In fact, Jewish Law tells us that one is not allowed to end any Torah aliya reading on a negative note. Sometimes, in order to do this, we even move on to another subject matter entirely in the text just so we end with an upbeat, positive verse. Why? One must always walk away from the Torah looking at the bright side of life—even after reading the long list of 98 curses. We need to observe the sadness of Holocaust and Tisha B’Av. But even more important, we need to celebrate the happiness of Purim and Simchat Torah.

In Pirke Avot (2:13) Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai asks his students: “What is the proper path a person should cling to?” The 1^st answer his students suggest is to have an ayin tova (a good eye). What does that mean? I have often met 2 kinds of people as I go through life. Some always see the negative in everything. They’re always complaining. They remind me of Eeyore the donkey in the Winnie the Pooh books. He always looks gloomy and depressed. On the other hand, I meet people who always see the good in people and situations. They’re always upbeat and positive. And that’s why people want to be around them.

Such a man in the Talmud was called Nachum Gam Zu. His name was Nachum, but he was also called Gam Zu because whatever happened, he would respond, gam zu l’tova (this too is for the good). I love Eeyore, but it’s much more pleasant to hang out with Nachum Gam Zu—to be around positive, upbeat people.

Being positive with family may be more challenging. When we celebrate holidays with family as we’ll do in the next few weeks…how often are there one or 2 members of the family that have been hurt by another? Remember, on Rosh Hashanah, Gd won’t forgive us from on high unless and until we forgive each other below. So look for ways to excuse those that have offended you. Think about what they’re going through in their lives. Whenever possible, stress the positive and not the negative—especially with family because…we need each other. In fact—and I know this is counter intuitive—but go out of your way to do something nice for the people in your family—even the ones that hurt you. In other words, stress the love. Be positive. 

Today we read multiple curses. And yet, we don’t become bogged down in those curses. We get through them and end with an upbeat note—that it’s all for the good. As the venereal sage Monty Python teaches, “Always look on the bright side of life.” Amen!