SHABBAT HAGADOL 5784

2 Rights Don’t Make a Wrong

Passover is the holiday of questions, so let me ask: How will this Passover be different from all other Passovers? We will be at our Seders this week, but our hearts are back in October in Israel. We are still reeling from the October 7^th barbaric attacks in Israel by Hamas, the ongoing war in Gaza, the attack of 300 drones and missiles from Iran last Saturday night, and Israel’s retaliation yesterday morning. I feel like we need some time to catch our breath, don’t we?

Passover celebrates the freedom from our captivity in Egypt. And yet our hearts are heavy, for on Passover we will be marking 200 days that 132 Israelis—being held hostage by Gaza—are still not free. Our festive joy will be diminished, and we’ll personally feel at our Seders, their absence at their Seders.

Among all the consequential moments of the past few months, there is a fleeting image that stays with me. In November, when a number of hostages were released from Gaza, some of them were ferried into Egypt and then to Israel, as if symbolically retracing the steps of the Passover story. The Passover Haggadah charges us: “In every generation, one must look upon himself as if he personally had come out from Egypt.” In the same way, it’s as if we all experienced and are experiencing the captivity by Hamas.

How can we celebrate in the face of such heartbreak? One way would be to use your Seder to acknowledge the hostages and their situation. Let me give you 2 suggestions:

         1. As we have an extra cup for Elijah on our Seder tables, let’s all leave an empty chair for the hostages. You can include images and names of some hostages if you like. Before starting the Seder, say: “Let’s take a moment to talk about the extra empty chair at our table. It represents the hostages in Gaza who are not now at their Seder tables with their families.”

         2. In this bitter time, let’s add an extra maror (bitter herb) to your Seder plate. Many homes have maror of Romaine lettuce and horseradish—one to eat with the charoset and the other for the matzah, charoset and maror sandwich. If you usually use a jar of horseradish, how about buying some real horseradish from Kroger’s and give everyone a slice. Perhaps you can add endives or a radish. Either way the additional bitterness will acknowledge your support of and heartbreak for the hostages. When introducing the seder plate, say: “You will notice the Seder plate looks a little different tonight. We have extra maror to note the additional bitterness we feel this year.

And adding to that bitterness are the divisions within the Jewish community both here and in Israel, over what one is what to do about the hostages. What takes precedent? Should we accept a ceasefire so that they can be released? By the way, Hamas has rejected all of the recent ceasefires offered. But if they accept such an offer, should we agree? Or, is it more important to 1^st defeat Hamas for the greater good?

This is not the 1^st time Israelis have had to confront this issue. It became a major issue in 2006 when Gilad Shalit was taken hostage. He was held hostage for 5 years! There was a constant back and forth of what Israel should do—how many Palestinian terrorists should be released to gain freedom for Gilad Shalit. Ultimately, a 1,000 prisoners were released for his freedom. One of them was Yahya Sinwar—today’s leader of Hamas in Gaza that headed the October 7^th attack. Should we have released him?

It’s the same debate today. In a sermon I delivered at the time of Gilad Shalit’s 1,000^th day as a hostage I wrote: Leading up to the 1,000^th day anniversary Gilad Shalit’s parents camped outside the prime minister’s office joined by many others, calling for the prime minister to do whatever was necessary to gain the release of Gilad Shalit. But encamped across the street from them was another group. And this group was made up of families who lost loved ones through the barbarity of the terrorists who are now to be released. From their perspective, releasing these terrorists would only encourage more terrorism in the future. So, who was right—Gilad Shalit’s mother, or those who said the terrorists must 1^st be defeated? What if it was your child?

This question is being asked now in Israel and Israel is split on who is right. In some ways, every Israeli is split both ways. One of Israel’s most respected editorialists, Yoel Marcus, wrote then a Haaretz column on Gilad Shalit titled: “Yes, at Any Price.” And a few weeks later he wrote another column titled: “Not at any price.” So, who’s right? This is a decision the Prime Minister must make. I would never want to have his job because you and I know both sides are right! And 2 rights do not make a wrong.

This is an important lesson for us to keep in mind as we prepare for the Seder. The Seder is a time when family comes together. It’s a time for family discussions … and sometimes those discussions turn ugly. I once saw an interview Conan O’Brien was having with Ellen Barkin where she described a Passover Seder in her family. A fight broke out that was so intense her father picked up the serving plate with the brisket on it an threw it at her mother. Now that’s a memory she’ll never forget! So, when a discussion comes up at your Seder and there’s disagreement, remember you may not be the only person that’s right. It depends upon one’s perspective.

And this is a lesson that’s very hard for some people to get. And so, to remind you, at the Seder, right before we eat the meal, we have korech where we put maror with some charoset between 2 pieces of matzah—making it into a sandwich—and eat it. Why do we do this? Not 5 minutes before we had eaten a piece of matzah and blessed it. Then we ate a piece of maror dipped in charoset and said a bracha. Why the need for this sandwich?

It goes back to a dispute in the Talmud. In the Torah we are told regarding the Pascal sacrifice that it had to be (Ex. 12:8) matzot al m’rorim yochluhu (with matzah and maror they shall eat it). According to one opinion, this meant that the matzah and maror had to be eaten separately. Other rabbis said: It doesn’t make a difference. Hillel—the greatest scholar of his time—said it means they must be eaten together. So, what do we do? First we eat them separately, and then we eat them together.

It’s like the old Jewish joke about 2 congregants who came before a rabbi to settle a dispute. One comes into his study to present his side of things. He poures out his complaints to the rabbi, and when he finishes, the rabbi thinks a little and says said, “You’re right.”

         Then it was the other one’s turn. When he finished, the rabbi said, “You know, you’re right.”

         After he leaves, his gabbai assistant, who’s sitting and listening to all this, asks politely, “Excuse me for asking honored Rabbi, but how can they both be right?”

         So the rabbi thinks for a moment and says to him, “You know, you’re also right!”

It’s an old joke, but it’s not a joke. No 2 people live in the same world. You see the world through your eyes and your neighbor sees it through his. Why look askance at someone else just because they think differently? As far as the hostages and a ceasefire are concerned, both sides are right!

My friends, let’s take this lesson to heart and hope for the early release of the hostages. And let’s have a Seder where not only will the food be good, but meaningful, and the discussions will be good as well, where no one will have to duck to avoid being hit by a brisket. May we truly have a Passover which is a chag kasher v’sameach—a Pesach holiday that is not only kosher but joyous as well. Amen!