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BEREYSHIT 5786
Loneliness, the Plague of Our World
Is this a good world or a bad world? You can make a good case either way. The Jewish view is that this is a great world! After each day of creation, what does Gd say? ki tov, “It is good.” And when creation is finished at the end of the 6th day, Gd says: v’hiney tov m’od, “It is very good!” For all its foibles—mostly caused by humans—the world is not just good; it’s very good; it’s wonderful!
Is there anything in Gd’s creation that Gd decides is not good?” After the creation of Adam, Gd says (Gen. 2:18): Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado (It is not good for a person to be alone). Gd’s 1st comment on human nature is how bad it is to be alone. The 1st thing that Gd condemns in creation is loneliness. Therefore, as soon as creation is completed, we read about a marriage—Adam and Eve—and after that we read about children and genealogy: this one begat that one begat that one, which is another way of saying, “Here’s the family.” And that’s because Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado—no one should be alone.
There are religions that preach solitude. But for Judaism—as modern psychology affirms—relationships are crucial for a healthy and productive life. In fact, the rabbis ask an interesting question: “Why was Adam lonely before Eve?” After all, he could talk to Gd and the angels.
Their answer is fascinating: “The reason Adam was still lonely—even in the presence of the angels—is because the angels didn’t need anything from him, and one is lonely only if someone doesn’t need them.” You have to be able to give in order to feel a powerful connection, and someone who doesn’t need you can’t take away your loneliness. Perhaps that is why the Hebrew word for “love” is ahava, from the root hav, which means “to give.”
How do Jews toast? L’chayim, “To life!” But the word chayim is plural, so l’chayim literally means, “to lives.” When you drink l’chayim, it’s a wish for a shared life with others, so we won’t be lonely.
Now that phrase, Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado (It’s not good for a person to be alone), does not mean that you should never find yourself alone—quite the opposite. Moments of solitude are terribly important. But the truth is, most of us are not really comfortable being alone with ourselves.
It sounds strange, but it’s true. When you walk into your home and no one is there, what do you do? If you’re like most people, you’ll immediately turn on the tv. In our cars, it’s the radio or streaming apps. We can’t even get into an elevator without hearing muzak (elevator music). We walk around with those white ear-pods in our ears—oblivious to the world around us. Why can’t we just take a walk and be alone with ourselves? What are we afraid of? But we must spend time with ourselves so we can hear our inner voice and feel the Presence of Gd as well.
Rebbe Nachman (Likutey Eytzot) teaches: A person should make it a point to be alone with himself for at least a few minutes each day. I love his next sentence: Anyone who can’t be alone with himself has to be very poor company for others!
I know that if someone were to call the shul and ask to speak to me, and the secretary—if I had one—were to say: “The Rabbi is busy now, he’s talking to someone,” they would understand. But if the secretary were to say: “The rabbi is busy now, he’s talking to himself,” or, “he’s listening to himself,” they would be confused. If we never have a moment for ourselves, if we never have a moment to catch our breath, and think or feel or pray or just to be, then what kind of lives are we leading?
Solitude played an important roll in the lives of all our great leaders. Moses was up on Mt. Sinai twice for 40 days and nights. Abraham had his moments alone with Gd. But solitude is chosen. Loneliness is the plague of an inability to break out of solitude, to find someone else who shares your soul, whose life is intertwined with your own.
Today we began again the reading of the Torah with the story of creation. What’s the greatest mystery about creation? It’s not how long did it take Gd to create the world. It doesn’t really matter to most people if it was 6 days or 6 billion years.
The greatest mystery is not why Adam sinned…or why Gd placed Adam in a garden…or what it means that Eve was created from Adam’s rib…or why it is, by the way, that the creation of Adam, man, is mentioned in one verse and the creation of women takes up 6 verses. No, the greatest mystery is why did Gd all of a sudden decide He’s got to have a world?
I’m not sure I know the whole answer, but I can tell you that according to Kabbalah, Gd created the world in order to have an opportunity to display His goodness. So, He created a being in His image that could appreciate Him. The Midrash (Bamidbar Rabba) puts it in more personal terms—terms that I would not dare to say on my own because it speaks of Gd in human terms. The Midrash tells us that Gd created the world because He was lonely. Which means that when Gd said, Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado, (It’s not good that a person should be alone), it was because Gd empathized with the ache in Adam’s heart. Gd knew how painful loneliness is.
So, as the Midrash teaches, we share with Gd the ache of loneliness and the need for love. And at the very beginning, the Torah makes clear what is most important. Gd doesn’t say that it’s not good for Adam to be unintelligent. He doesn’t say that it’s not good for Adam to be untalented; or it’s not good for Adam not to go to the best schools. What He said was: “It’s not good is for Adam to be alone!”
Let me tell you about someone who has been all alone for 2 years—just released hostage Rom Braslavski, who was tied up all that time in a small dark cell. Story by Kira Feldman: He wakes up in darkness. He doesn’t know what day it is, whether he has eaten today or yesterday, or if it will matter tomorrow. His body aches; his hands are weak. He’s tied up, unable to stand, and falls back onto the thin mattress. The sores itch, infection rages inside and out—but the mind is the worst wound of all.
He hears his own breathing, loud against the silence. That silence is broken only by distant footsteps, the drip of water somewhere…His hands clasp in prayer: Shema Yisrael. His jailers asked him to convert to Islam, to betray the truth in his heart. Quietly, he whispers to himslef, “I’m Jewish. I’m Jewish.” Because what else remains when both body and hope are stripped away?
He remembers helping people at the Nova festival before it all collapsed—the panic, the cries, the bodies. He remembers getting 2 women to safety and tells himself, I did what I could. But there, far away and unseen, he wonders if what he did matters. He wonders if anyone still remembers him.
Sometimes he thinks of home. Loneliness presses on him like a weight—not just because he’s alone, but because the world goes on without him. He imagines people at home eating, sleeping, laughing—mothers cooking, friends at the beach, families gathering for holidays. And there, suspended in his cell, he becomes invisible—even to himself.
When he saw a video of himself, he barely recognized that hollow figure. The eyes reflected what captivity had made of him. He wept—not always in sound, but in the emptiness between heartbeats. He didn’t want to die. He only wanted someone to see him, to hear him, to act—to bring him home. And now, Baruch Hashem, Rom Braslavski is home again—alone no more!
Dr. Darren J. Edwards, in an article in Psychology Today (8/27/25), describes recent attempts to relieve loneliness through AI Artificial Intelligence: Loneliness may be described as the great silent epidemic of our world. Despite living in a hyper-connected world, where social media platforms promise constant interaction and hundreds of “friends” at our fingertips, many people report feeling isolated, unseen, and emotionally unfulfilled … Increasingly, some individuals are turning not to other people, but to artificial intelligence—AI companions for a sense of connection and belonging … Paradoxically, the more we immerse ourselves in social media for connection, the more we may risk feeling hollow and unseen … However, while AI companions can offer temporary relief from loneliness, they don’t replace the profound psychological and emotional nourishment of a human connection … Friendships, family ties, and community protect against mental illness and provide resilience in the face of life’s challenges.
Would you believe that thousands are now using AI for friendship and connection? Some even for love!?
My friends, what’s our job as human beings, as Jews? To ensure that we have community, that we have connections and relationships. The curse of life is not when we cannot create—but when we cannot love. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 4:5) teaches: Nivra adam y’chidi (Each human being was created single). And we are challenged to overcome that singleness … to make our hearts tender enough … and our hearts open enough to make room for another, to be able to love and be loved.
The Ramban (Emuna Ubitachon 24) explains from a Kabbalistic teaching that: Each Neshama (holy soul), before coming to this world has both a male and a female component. When it’s time for the soul to begin its journey to his world, Gd splits the soul into those 2, occupying 2 different bodies. The quest of life is to find the other half of your soul—your soul mate.
I’ve been privileged to spend some time with Joseph and Elaine, and I can tell you they are an amazing couple that has been fortunate to have found the other half of their individual soul.
This Shabbos is the real beginning of the New Year. The holidays are finally over. As I was walking around with the Torah this morning, many said, “Good Shabbos,” but someone mistakenly said, “Gut Yom Tov.” I said, “No, no, no; the Yom Tovim are over.” That’s it, no more holidays; at least until Chanukah. Finally, it’s just Shabbos. At this, the Shabbos of beginnings, as we begin the Torah anew, and as Joseph and Elaine prepare for the life journey together, our prayer should be Adam’s prayer: Ribono shel olam, Master of the universe, may this coming year never find us, or you Hashem, alone. Amen!
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