VAYEYRA 5782

Let me ask a question that might surprise you—a question you probably would never think to ask. What right do we have to pray for others? Cheryl once showed me a column in the newspaper by Lorraine V. Murray (AJC, 3/6/10,) that began: “I used to think the fondest words in the whole world were, ‘I love you,’ but not anymore. Now the most special words of all are, ‘I’ll pray for you.’” I think there’s something to this. And, as our sages teach us, when you pray for someone else Gd may answer your prayer 1^st.

Why are we are allowed to pray for ourselves? Because, even though Gd may have decreed for some reason that we should suffer illness or misfortune, the very act of prayer may change us and then we are not the same person for whom our dire situation was decreed. So, if Gd decreed that Chaim should become ill, but after such deep prayer, maybe he’s no longer the same Chaim—which is why he now deserves chaim (life, blessing and health, etc). You see, prayer is not an attempt to change Gd. Prayer is a process of changing yourself. And only through changing yourself would it make sense that you could dare attempt to alter the decree that existed for you previously.

So how can I pray for Gd to heal someone else? If a person is sick, obviously Gd knows and may have decreed it. Who are we to interfere? How can our prayers change someone else to become a different person? Obviously not, so how can we dare pray for someone else?

In our Torah reading, Gd told Abraham He plans to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorra. What does Abraham do? He argues with Gd. What a chutzpa! How dare he argue with Gd! The Torah here is teaching us that we have a right to ask, to demand, and yes, even to argue with Gd. What an incredible idea!

Let me ask you, for whom was Abraham pleading—the righteous of Sodom and Gomorra, or the wicked? If it was for both, then how could he challenge Gd by asking (Gen. 18:25): “Would you still destroy it rather than spare the place for the sake of the 50 righteous people within it?” Gd tells Abraham He is going to kill the wicked.

But Abraham is asking for something far more. He pleads, “Perhaps there are 50 righteous people b’toch ha-ir, in the city [involved in the life of the city and its people]…Won’t You save the city for the sake of the 50 righteous who are there?” What is Abraham asking for? He is asking Gd to save the wicked because of the righteous, because if their whole life will be undone if their city, their friends and family will be destroyed. Again, Abraham is asking Gd to save the wicked for the sake of the righteous—and this is magnificent!

It’s all summed up in Abraham’s immortal challenge to Gd (Gen. 18:25): Hashofeyt kol haaretz lo yaaseh mishpat, “Will the Judge of the entire world not do justice?” But is it not justice to kill the wicked and save the righteous? And this is exactly what Gd had said He was going to do—kill all the wicked people. Abraham then challenges Gd saying, “You can’t do that. If You are going to be just, You have got to save the wicked for the sake of the righteous.” Why?

Here comes the fundamental principle explaining the reason why it’s permissible to pray for someone else. The Torah (Deut. 32:4) teaches Gd’s justice must be total justice: ki kol d’rachav mishpat, “for all His ways are just.” But Gd’s justice is different than that dispensed by human courts. This is beautifully illustrated in a passage in the Talmud (Yevamot 64a). In delineating the descendants of Aaron and Moses, the Torah mentions the death of Aaron’s 2 sons, Nadav and Avihu, and adds, uvanim lo hayu lahem (and they did not have children). The Talmud comments, Hahayu lahem banim, lo meytu (If they would have had children, they would not have died).

But if they had committed a sin worthy of death, why would the fact they had children make any difference in their punishment? It’s because if someone is put to death, his family also suffers. Even though Nadav and Avihu may have deserved the death penalty, the Talmud teaches it would have been unjust for their children in such a case to become orphans. So Nadav and Avihu would have been saved for the sake of their innocent children.

If one commits a terrible crime he can be jailed for a year, for 10 years; he can be put to death. Who suffers? Of course he suffers. But who else pays the price? His wife, his children, his family. Our justice system can only look at the crime. It cannot take into account that innocent children will suffer, will not have a father, a wage earner, a provider. We can never know all the ramifications of pronouncing a sentence upon someone and, therefore, our justice system cannot dispense total justice.

But Gd does knows everything, and so Gd can dispense total justice. As the Torah (Deut. 32:4) teaches: ki kol d’rachav mishpat, “for all Gd’s ways are just.” Gd has to take into account what a punishment will mean, not only for the sinner, but for all the people who are connected to that person.

This is a fascinating concept. Now we can see the answer to our question of how can we pray for someone else. What happens when we pray for someone seriously ill? What are we really saying to Gd? We are saying, “Even if the person may, for whatever reason, deserve his present situation, we want you to know Gd, it hurts us also; we are in pain as we watch him suffer. So Gd, put us on the scale of justice, too, as You judge.

How do we demonstrate it hurts us? We come to shul, offering a Mishebeyrach prayer, and giving charity on his or her behalf.” And so Rabbi David Feinstein advises us, “We should try to form as many connections as possible” in our lives, for “there might come a time when we could be spared from a punishment that had been decreed because others would suffer unfairly.”

One final thought: Judaism makes Gd appear so super-fair in His dispensing of total justice, that it would seem almost impossible for there to be suffering or death or tragedy in the world. However, there is tragedy and the righteous do suffer and good people do feel pain.

Some may say to themselves when they’re suffering, “Is it something that I did to cause this?” There are feelings of guilt that perhaps there’s something that we could have done that we didn’t do, that was in our power. But know, all the challenges and hardships we confront in life are really opportunities for the growth of our souls. That’s why our souls were put here in this world, in our bodies—to grow.

Real growth of the soul is virtually impossible in the world of the souls from where we came and where we will return. You can't be compassionate in the world of the souls, for no one needs your help. You can’t resist temptation in the world of the souls, for there is no temptation. It is only here in this world when we are challenged and our lives seem to be falling apart all around us that we can demonstrate the growth of our souls by reaching out and helping someone else with their pain, with their suffering.

We all know that, ultimately, it’s Gd’s decision, and being believing Jews, we have to say, Gd’s decisions sometimes may seem cruel and harsh, but Gd must have a reason. We must, however, do as much as we possibly can, to do the inner work necessary to change ourselves for the better in order to compel Gd to reconsider. 

So let’s not treat lightly the power of the prayers we utter. May they work through us and within us so that our prayers for ourselves and for others ascend on high to Gd’s eager ear. Amen!