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SHABBAT CHOL HAMOED PESACH 5783
Dayenu, It's Enough!
Sing with me: Dayenu, dayenu…
Yes, the Seders have passed, but I can’t stop singing—as you see—the most famous song of he Seder: Dayenu. It’s such a catchy melody. Everyone joins in. And most of all, it has such a powerful message. It thanks Gd for each one of the steps we experienced along the way from slavery to freedom, and some of the phrases make a lot of sense.
We sing, for example: Ilu harag et b’choreyhem, v’lo natan lanu et mamonam, Dayenu (Gd, even if you had killed the Egyptian 1st-born, but you hadn’t given us their money, Dayenu—it would have been enough for us). That makes sense. We wouldn’t have been wealthy, but we would have been free. We would have gotten jobs.
Or at the end we say: Ilu hichnisanu l’eretz Yisrael, v’lo vana lanu et Beyt Hab’chira, Dayenu (Even if you had taken us to the promised land but you hadn’t built the Holy Temple, Dayenu—it would have been enough for us). We wouldn't have had the Temple, but we would have been in the Promised Land, the land of Israel. Like now we have the land of Israel. We don’t have the Temple yet, but we manage.
But some of the stanzas don’t seem to make sense at all. We sing for example: Ilu natan lanu et mamonam, v’lo kara lanu et hayam, Dayenu (Even if you had given us their wealth but you had not parted the sea for us, Dayenu—it would have been enough for us). It would have been enough? What would we be telling our kids? It was amazing. 10 Plagues, then Gd took us out gave us all their money. Then after a week we were trapped by the sea, and we were re-enslaved and we had to give the money back. Wait a minute! What?
And then the next one is even wilder: Ilu kara lanu et hayam, v’lo he-eviranu v’tocho vecharava, Dayenu (Gd, even if you parted of the sea for us but you hadn’t taken us through it on dry land, Dayenu—it would have been enough for us). It would have been enough for us? We would have drowned! That would have given new meaning to singing, “die, die—eynu.” We would have been dead! How could that have been enough for us?
One more: Ilu natan lanu et haShabbat, v’lo keyrvanu lifney har Sinai, Dayenu (Gd, even if you had just given us Shabbat and not taken us to Mt. Sinai to receive the Torah—Dayenu, it would have been enough). If Gd had started the task of making us His people and then left us in the middle, would that really have been enough? It would have been like a man who is stuck in the bottom of a well and someone comes and throws him a rope and lifts him halfway up and then says, “Ok, now you’re on your own,” and lets go of the rope. Does that make sense?
So, the most common answer to this is that Dayenu shows us how to say thank you. You go visit some old friends in a foreign city and they’re incredibly hospitable. After the trip, when you get home, you send them a text of thanks for the hospitality—exclamation point, smiley face emoji. Versus you write this letter: Thank you for everything. Thank you for picking me up at the airport, and thank you for each one of the meals, and thank you for that wonderful comfortable room, and thank you for the sightseeing that you took me on, and thank you for driving me back to the airport. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! That’s how you say thank you, and that’s what Dayenu does.
A colleague, Rabbi Jack Reimer, once suggested that what Dayenu is teaching us is: “If Gd gives you half a favor, don’t knock it. If Gd does part of a good deed for you, don’t complain and feel frustrated and get angry. Be grateful for partial favors, because partial favors are usually as much as any of us ever get in this life. If we ignore them, we’ll become bitter and unappreciative and unhappy.
Let me tell you about some people who have taught me the art of singing Dayenu and being grateful for partial favors. A woman once lost her brother. I paid a shiva call and she told me, “At 1st, I was angry. After all, he was so young. Why did he have to go so soon? And then I said to myself, at least we had him for nearly 60 years. That’s something, Rabbi, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I be grateful for that?”
I was very touched by what she said, for if you become angry, what good does it do? Who do you hurt, but yourself? But if you’re able to say, “I didn’t have him for as long as I would have liked, but Dayenu, I’m grateful for the partial favor I received,” then you are wise.
There was a couple whose son was in a car accident. I went to the hospital to see how he was doing. When I came in, they were smiling, and said, “Wish us Mazel Tov, rabbi, he’s going to be alright. He had a few broken bones, and his leg is in a cast, but still, he’s going to be OK!” I was so impressed with the order of what they said. 1st, “He’s going to be alright,” he was going to live, and then, “He has some broken bones!” This was a family that had its priorities straight. They understood the need to sing Dayenu even for partial favors.
One more answer, and this, I think is the most profound … and that is saying Dayenu is acknowledging that Gd never has to answer for his actions. Sometimes Gd does things that may seem brutal, unfair, horrible, terrible—but they’re not. By singing Dayenu, we’re acknowledging that we know the only reason it looks bad is because of our nearsightedness. We understand Gd, that You know us better than anyone. You love us more than anyone. You only want what’s best for us, and everything You do is best for us.
Had we been enslaved again by Egypt, would it have been enough for us? Had we been drowned, it would have been enough for us? Had we not received the Torah, it would have been enough for us? Really? Yes, because You Gd did it. You made the decision. Someday—either in this world or the next—we’ll find out why. So, we acknowledge that whatever you do for us is enough!
My friends, if we put these 3 lessons together, we’ll see that we do we have to thank Gd for everything:
1. We have to thank Him for the obvious things—the things that are going well, our health and our possessions and our loved ones and the roof over our heads and the meals that we eat.
2.We have to thank Him for the partial favors we receive—even when we don’t get everything we want.
3. And we have to thank him for things that we’d never think to thank him for: for our challenges, for our perceived deficiencies, for our temptations, for our addictions. Because it is those very challenges that Gd sends our way that helps us become the best human beings we can be and the holiest of souls.
Sometimes, what we don’t have is even more important than what we do have. It motivates us to strive to work harder on ourselves—to become our better selves. So, let’s sing once more with a full heart: Dayenu, Dayenu… Amen!
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