SHAVUOT II  (YIZKOR 5783/5775)
Memorial Day and Yizkor

 
Today is a special day in the Jewish calendar and a special weekend in the American calendar and they both have the same theme—remembering those who are no longer with us. For Americans, this is Memorial Day weekend, and for Jews, today is Yizkor. Today we Jews pause to remember those taken from our midst as Americans pause to remember those who fell in battle. 
 
I never served in the Armed Forces, but I’m really grateful for all those who did, especially those who have given their lives in service to this country and have allowed me and you to live in this greatest country on Gd’s green earth.
  
For most Americans Memorial Day will be just another vacation day—sleeping late in the morning, going to the mall to see what’s on sale, and BBQs in the backyard. I don’t know if there are many Americans who even know why May 30th was chosen as Memorial Day. May 30th was the day that the American Civil War came to an end—and so it became a day to remember those who died in wars defending this country. Eventually, the day got moved to the last Monday in May. 
 
TV commercials and this weekend’s Atlanta Journal Constitution will be filled with ads for “Special Memorial Day Sales.” But you won’t see a single ad mentioning the Civil War or show the face of a single fallen American soldier—not one! 
 
Memorial Day in Israel—Yom Hazikaron, the day before Yom Ha-Atzmaut (Israel Independence Day) is personal. Every family has either suffered a loss or knows someone close to them who was killed defending the Jewish state. Naomi Ragen beautifully describes it:
         Remembrance Day in Israel is like nothing else, I dare say, anywhere in the world. The country simply shuts down all distractions. Restaurants, bars, discos, close down. Radio and television channels spend the day telling the stories of the fallen, showing old pictures and new videos of soldiers who died…
         And the programs all emphasize the same thing: the man’s childhood, his home, his parents, his wife or girlfriend. The silly pictures from his high school parties. The smiling face of the little boy dressed up for Purim. The words of friends, who never stop mourning, who never forget. And for one day, every single person in Israel who identifies with the Jewish State, and the lives of the people who live here, feel these men and women are part of their own past, their own family.
They all live in the next room or the next house, or at the very most, an hour’s bus ride away from the central bus station…there is not a man, woman or child in Israel who has more than 1 or 2 degrees of separation between themselves and every precious boy or girl in uniform who falls defending our lives from real bombs, real bullets, real slaughter. 
 
The United States, on the other hand, is a large country, spread apart from sea to shining sea. When soldiers fall in battle, they become statistics—not real people. Only for their families is their loss felt. The rest of us remain untouched. I can prove it to you! I bet there are not many here who know anyone who died in Iraq or Afghanistan. But every single Israeli knows lots of people who died in the wars of ’67, ’73, Lebanon or Gaza. 
 
Now I love the American military and how its volunteer army selflessly fights to keep us safe. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I don’t understand why one of the 1st things they give you when you enter the U.S. Army is a “dog tag” which has your serial number on it. People are NOT dogs! Do you know 1st thing they give you when you enter the Israeli army? A Tanach—a Bible that has your name inscribed in it, signed by your commanding officer so that you may know and never forget that you are a person and not just a number. 
 
And that brings us to one last difference between Memorial Day and Yom Hazikaron—numbers! We see it every time Israel exchanges hundreds of Palestinian prisoners for 1 or 2 Israeli soldiers. You see, in Jewish spiritual arithmetic, every person is of infinite value. As the Talmud (Sanhedrin 4:5) teaches: “Whoever saves one life, it is as if he has saved the world.”
 
Do you know why we sit shiva for 7 days? Because the world was created in 7 days. For us, every human being is a world—a world the likes of which has never been before and never will be again. That’s why Jews don’t talk about body counts. We talk about fathers and brothers and sons and daughters, husbands and wives—and each person counts.
 
With this in mind, let me point out to you a nuance in the Yizkor service. We don’t say, “May Gd remember the souls of my parents and my siblings and all my relatives?” Instead, we say the Yizkor prayer over and over again—once for a mother with her name and then once again for a father with his name, and then once again for a husband and wife with their name, and so on. Each one gets an individual Yizkor. Why? Because each one was a person and deserves to be treated as such in life and in death. 
 
Let me end with the amazing true story from the 1980s about Maurice Schechter (as told by Rabbi Joseph Mizrachi): Maurice, a secular Jew from London, was sitting on an airplane on his way to Israel. Next to him was Mr. Goldstein, a religious Jew. All through the flight Goldstein tried to convince Maurice to be more observant—to put on tefillin and eat kosher. “No, no,” he said, “leave me alone. I’m a survivor of the Holocaust and I’m done with Gd.” 
         After they left the airport Goldstein thought, “We were talking for 5 hours and I can’t believe I didn’t even get Maurice’s phone number. Perhaps, if I was able to keep up with him I might eventually convince him to be more religious.” The whole way to Jerusalem and the week that followed he ate his heart out about it.
         It was just before Rosh Hashanah and Goldstein was scheduled to spend the holidays at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem. They had hired a fabulous new cantor—a rising star—and he couldn’t wait to hear him.
         Rosh Hashanah passed with beautiful services and then came Yom Kippur. The Shacharit morning service on Yom Kippur is the longest of the year and it was their custom to take a break on Yom Kippur before Yizkor. Mr. Goldstein went out for a walk in the street to get some fresh air. Who did he bump into? Maurice Schechter, sitting on a bench eating a sandwich! You have to be a real secular Jew to go as far as to eat a sandwich in public on Yom Kippur in Jerusalem. Goldstein saw him and said, “Maurice, I can’t believe I found you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” And when he saw the sandwich he added, “How could you be eating a sandwich on Yom Kippur?”
         Maurice responded, “I told you I’m done with Gd. I’m not a hypocrite. I’ll do what I want. ” 
         “OK Maurice, let’s not get into this again. You told me about your son Pinchas and that the Nazis had killed him and since then you’re finished with Gd. In a few minutes they will continue the service at the King David Hotel with Yizkor. You’re done with Gd but you’re not done with your son. Why don’t you come in and say Yizkor for your son and give the cantor his name to make a special Moley Rachamim memorial prayer for him.”
         Maurice hesitated. He thought about it and in the end he threw away the sandwich and went with Goldstein inside the King David Hotel. Towards the end of Yizkor he walked up to the cantor and asked him to make a special Moley Rachamim memorial prayer for his son. The Cantor asked for his son’s name and he replied, “Pinchas ben Moshe.” The cantor asked him for his son’s last name because it was his custom to include last names in this prayer. Maurice then told him, “Pinchas ben Moshe Schechter.”
         The cantor starred down at him and his face turned white. He screamed, “Abba, father, for 35 years I’ve been looking for you. I can’t believe you came all the way to me in the middle of Yom Kippur.”
         Can you imagine the shock that descended upon the congregation? Hugs and tears…for an hour no one could stop crying. 
 
What is the probability that Maurice Schechter would go to Israel and sit on a bench in the streets of Jerusalem rebelling against Gd by eating a sandwich on Yom Kippur because he was angry with Gd for losing his son … and a religious Jew would take a break from his davening and find him and bring him into shul? Just imagine if he had NOT agreed to go with him. The Talmud (Avodah Zarah 10b) teaches: Yeysh adam shekoneh olamo b’rega achat, “There are times when a person can completely turn his life around in one moment.” With one decision he can change everything.
 
My friends, such is the power of Yizkor—to unite lost souls and, in the process, for lost souls to rediscover their true selves. At Yizkor we are reunited for a few moments with our lost loved ones. They might not have been the rich and famous. All they were was mommy and daddy, Bubbie and Zeidi … and all they did was make our world a better place in which to live and help make each of us a mentch. And they did it one by one by one. 
 
And so on this Memorial weekend Yizkor service, let us pray on behalf of the American soldiers who died protecting our freedom, and pray for our own departed who loved us. T’hi nishmatam tz’ruror b’tzror hachaim, “May their souls be bound up in the bonds of eternal life.” Hashem hu nachalatam, v’yanuchu b’shalom al mishkvotam, “Gd is their portion, may they rest in peace and may we so live to honor their lives by how we live. And to that let us say, “Amen!” 
 
                                     Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis
                                     5/27/23; 5/28/12