EKEV 5783

The Torah’s Secret to Happiness

What does it take to be really happy? A Tesla, a big house, winning the lottery? All these are really nice, but they don’t buy happiness. Moses, on the final day of his life, addresses this question in the 1^st words of our Torah reading. He says to the Jewish people: V’haya eykev tishm’un (It will be if you will listen). Listen to what? Eyt hamishpatim ha-eyleh (to these—Gd’s—laws), ushamartem v’asitem otam (observe and do them), then Gd will safeguard for you the promise, the covenant He made with you and your forefathers.

Rabbi Efrem Goldberg (Eikev Podcast 5781) shows how this is a prescription for happiness. He cites the Or Hachaim who asks why does our Torah portion begin with the word v’haya (and it will be)? It could have just said Ekev tishm’un (If you will listen). He cites the Midrash (Bereshit Rabba 42:3) that says, every time we see the word v’haya in the Torah, it’s lashon simcha (an expression of joy and happiness). By using the word v’haya, Gd is then asking, “What is true joy and happiness?” And He answers with the next words: eykev tishm’un (if you listen to Me).

This 2^nd word of the parsha, eykev (if you), also means “because of.” So, what the Or Hachaim is saying is that because of, the goal of, the purpose of listening to Hashem, the essence of a Torah way of life is the 1^st word of the parsha, vahaya—indicating serenity, peace of mind, joy and happiness!

Some think that living a life of Torah requires us to give up our happiness, to sacrifice and compromise what we want. It doesn’t matter that you don’t get to eat what you want, go where you want, live the lifestyle you want. The important thing is to sacrifice and be of service to Gd. That’s what Gd expects.

The Or Hachaim here says, “No!” The goal of listening to Gd’s Torah is v’haya, it’s simcha—joy and happiness! How many of us are struggling to make sense of, to navigate this complicated difficult world? We Jews have the opportunity, the privilege to have Torah as our GPS to help us navigate through life. The Torah doesn’t eliminate or remove life’s challenges and hardships, but it does give us a road map to navigate to the v’haya, to simcha—to living with peace of mind, to being calm, to being happy. However, there are religious Jews who, although they observe Gd’s mitzvot, their lives are so difficult. Where did they going wrong? Let me suggest a central theme threaded throughout our parsha.

When we think that we’re in control of our lives … when we think that we’re in charge … when we feel endless pressure and anxiety … when we think it’s all on our shoulders … when we believe that even after we’ve tried our hardest and do our best, that the outcome is just random chance … if we think this way, then it’s impossible to be happy. When we look at others and see what they have and we don’t—feeling we deserve at least what they have—we’ll never find serenity; we’ll never be happy.

When others disappoint—or worse hurt us—and we think we don’t deserve it, we may get angry and resentful—or feel a burning desire for revenge. When we think we’re alone in this world … when we think that we’re responsible for the outcome … or that the outcome is beyond our control and that we’re the victim of chance … all of this leads to a life of tension, anxiety and unhappiness.

But, tishm’un, if we can listen to the messages around us that Gd is sending us … if we can see Hashem in the world and how He has blessed us … that He is in fact intimately involved in our lives and nothing is random and by chance … then we can sit back and be calm and serene and find happiness and joy because we know that some One much bigger and smarter than we are pulling the strings. As I often say, it’s crucial to understand that we do not write the script of our lives, we just play the part. Knowing this makes life so much easier.

There’s a mitzvah that’s repeated twice in our parsha—a mitzvah that for me, personally, towers above all the other mitzvot in the Torah. It’s called d’veykut—clinging to Hashem. It’s a mitzvah that says to us that Torah, Jewish Law, an observant way of life, living with faith and clinging to Gd are not about burdening us. They’re not about restricting our lives. They’re not about depriving us of pleasure like many people mistakenly believe.

Torah is exactly the opposite! V’haya—our Torah portion begins—you want happiness? Are you searching for joy and peace of mind? Do you want the best tools to navigate this crazy complicated world? Eykev tishm’un, our parsha tells us, listen carefully, heed Gd’s Torah, His instruction manual for life. D’veykut, cleave to Gd by following Him.

This does NOT mean you won’t get cancer. It does not mean there won’t be family challenges, financial crises and conflict. It means that in His Torah, Gd gives us the tools to be able to navigate through whatever life will throw at us.

Rabeynu Bachia (Bamidbar 4) writes: “A person must always try to feel happy and joyous when doing mitzvot.” After all, that’s the point of doing them. A mitzvah is a tzivuy, Gd reaching out to us with a command that’s in our best interest. It’s a connection point, an invitation to rendezvous with Him.

So, when we do a mitzvah out of a sense of a burden … when we do a mitzvah like we’d really rather not … then we miss Gd’s invitation to connect. But when we embrace a mitzvah and recognize that a mitzvah is our special opportunity to connect to Gd, then our relationship with Him deepens—bringing us deep satisfaction and profound joy.

Rabbeynu Bachia continues: “Being happy and joyous when doing a mitzvah is a mitzvah unto itself.” It’s exactly like marriage. If your spouse asks you to do something and you do it begrudgingly with a sour face or a snide comment, then why bother doing it? The fact that your spouse asked you to do something was not only because that thing needed to be done, it was also an opportunity to draw close and make a deposit in the relationship. But when you do it with negativity, when you do it with sourness, you miss that opportunity. Yes, you get to put a check next to it on your list that you’ve got it done. But it doesn’t yield the transformation in the relationship that it could have. Therefore, says Rabbeynu Bachia, we need to do the mitzvot Gd asks of us—which really are not for Him, but for our benefit—we need to do them with simcha, a sense of joy.

Some mistakenly think that to be religious you have to look serious, somber and sad. That the most righteous people walk around like this all day [show a serious face] saying to themselves, “I’m so serious doing mitzvot and you Gd are in Heaven watching me. I’m so scared I tremble.”

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The Talmud (Shabbat 30b) tells: “The Shechina Divine Presence rests not from sadness…but from joy—the joy of a mitzvah.” Spirituality, connecting with the Divine doesn’t happen with an attitude of sadness or gloom, but with a sense of joy!

In a way, this makes total sense. Are we not drawn to people who are happy? Who wants to be around miserable, hypercritical people who always complain? We want to be around the people who are positive—who lift us up, who are filled with joy and positive energy.

Let me tell you something. Gd also doesn’t want our negative energy, our frown, our pessimism. Gd is more predisposed to being with us—and we are then more likely to feel His Presence—when we are positive, optimistic, upbeat—when we put a smile on our face. Gd wants US to focus—not on what’s missing in our lives—but to be happy in the blessing of what we have. Happiness, my friends, is not an emotion. It’s a decision.

So let me sum up. Today’s Torah reading begins: V’haya, you want a life of happiness serenity and peace of mind? Then Eykev tishm’un et hamishpatim ha-eyleh, listen to Gd’s commandments. By living a Gdly life you will be doing a deveykut, a cleaving to Gd—feeling the joy of knowing He’s always with you and He’ll always have your back.

It’s no wonder that the Shulchan Aruch Code of Jewish Law (Hilchot Tefilah 93:2) tells us: When you stand up to pray [the Amidah], be serious and focused, try not to think extraneous thoughts or angry thoughts. [When you stand up to pray] be joyful and happy. You might think that since you’re about to have an audience with Gd, the King of Kings, you should be serious and somber. Yes, says the Shulchan Aruch, take it seriously. But walk in to pray with a smile on your face and with joy in your heart for being in Gd’s Presence.

So, when you say the Amidah—as we will do in just a few moments—and you take 3 steps back, leave behind any sadness and negative energy—just let it go. Then when you take your 3 steps forward before Hashem, put a smile on your face because the King of Kings WANTS an audience with you when you walk in with a smile! Amen!