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SHOFTIM 5783
“How well do you know your Judge?”
Do you enjoy judging others? Isn’t it fun to sit with your friends over a beer or coffee and share the latest juicy gossip—talking negatively about everyone and anyone? Is it Ok to judge others? After all, Imitatio Dei (Imitating Gd) is a major principle in Judaism. So, if Gd clothes the naked—like He did for Adam and Eve as they left the Garden of Eden—shouldn’t we help the poor with clothing and shelter? If Gd buries the dead as He did for Moses, shouldn’t we display chesed shel emet (eternal kindness) for the dead? Gd judges us on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. So, shouldn’t it be ok for us to judge others?
It’s no coincidence that the 1st Torah portion we read in the month of Elul—which began yesterday—before Rosh Hashanah is Shoftim (Judges) which begins (Deut. 16:18): Shoftim v’shotrim titeyn l’cha (Judges and bailiffs you shall make for yourself). So, Jews are supposed to judge.
Well, let me give you a great piece of advice. If you want to be happy, DON’T judge others! Those who set themselves up to be judge and jury over others will be miserable! You see, there’s another side to imitating Gd. If Gd judges and punishes people, shouldn’t it be OK for us to do the same? Let’s take this a bit further: the Torah (Deut. 32:35) says that Gd takes revenge. Shouldn’t it then be OK for us to take revenge? However, the Torah (Lev. 19:18) specifically commands us: Lo tikom v’lo titor (You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge). In the Bible, Gd often behaves as if He’s angry. Why can’t we behave with anger if Gd does?
The Maharal teaches that the mitzvah of imitating Gd is given to urge us to do acts of chesed, love and kindness—not to judge others, to take revenge or to act with anger.
So, the message of this being the 1st Torah reading in this month before Rosh Hashanah is: Don’t judge others! It’s not your place, your position or your role in the world to behave as a judge. If you’re a judge in court, a teacher or a parent, then it may be part of your job. But otherwise, who asked you? You may not like what someone does; but why judge? How will it benefit you? It will only eat away at you and bring you down.
Let’s say you have a neighbor, who starts his old loud car at 6:30am every morning on the way to work, waking you up. If you want to be miserable and aggravated, judge him. Every time you look at him, see the horns coming out of his head. You’ll probably begin waking up before he starts his car—angrily waiting for him to start it!
If you want to be happy, don’t judge. Of course, you should speak to him. Tell him, “I’m a light sleeper and it’s hard for me to lose that morning sleep. Can please you get your muffler checked?” Try! Worse comes to worse, if it doesn’t work, you’re up early, you might as well get up and go to an early minyan. But if you want to be unhappy, judge him!
Your children marry, and you feel your children’s in-laws are not as generous to the couple as you are. You want to make your life miserable? Get angry. Judge them. Say to yourself, “Those tight-fisted people, they’re not nice. I knew it the 1st time I met them.” Get yourself all aggravated and all you’ll do is upset yourself. You want to be happy? Don’t judge them. Who knows what’s going on in their lives—the financial pressures they have? Choose to be happy and don’t judge.
our married child doesn’t call? You want to be miserable? Sit down with your wife and talk harshly about your kid. Do you really want to mess up your life? Call your son and tell him how terrible his wife is. Guaranteed misery!
A surgeon once told me that his daughter was about to become engaged. His future son-in-law was a doctor. But instead of choosing a lucrative specialty like he did as a surgeon, he told me his future son-in-law is a bit lazy and decided to become a general practitioner. I could see the terrific sense of disappointment in his face. He asked me, “Should I encourage my daughter to accept his proposal?”
I said, “Yes, but with one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“That they live in another city far away from you!”
Labeling your child’s spouse as lazy is a terrible idea. Don’t judge. I promise … you’ll have a happier life.
Furthermore, the Kotzker Rebbe and the Sfas Emes take special note that the word l’cha (yourself) in this opening verse of our parsha is in the singular, teaching that each of us should judge and bailiff for ourselves—trying to keep ourselves on the right track. After all, isn’t this what we’re supposed to as we prepare for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?
One more lesson about judging: Let’s say you can’t resist judging someone because you’re so hurt and can’t get past it. If your defense is to be like Gd Who also judges, let me ask you, what about taking a bribe? Is a judge allowed to take a bribe? Of course not! Does Gd take bribes?
There is a great Midrash (Bamidbar Rabbah 11:4), on the 3rd verse of the priestly blessing: Yisa Hashem panav eylecha v’yaseym l’cha shalom, “May Hashem lift up His face to you and grant you peace.” “Lift up the face” is an expression that also means “to overlook.” In other words, the blessing can be understood as: “May Hashem overlook your sins and grant you peace.” The Midrash has Gd saying: Ani nosey panim, “I overlook; I take bribes from people who do good deeds; I take that into account.”
There’s an old favorite story of mine about a businessman who dies and goes up to that line that decides whether he gets into heaven or not. In front of him he sees a man being asked about the good deeds he’s done. After he finishes, the angel in charge tells him to go through the gates into heaven. When it’s the businessman’s turn, he clears his throat and says, “I didn’t have time for good deeds, and haven’t given much to charity.” He then takes out his check book and says, “Just tell me how much it’ll cost, and I’ll write you a check.”
The angel says to him, “Checks? We don’t take checks up here. We only take receipts.” In heaven they take receipts. It’s not a joke. It’s true. Do you want to bribe Gd? Come up with receipts. Donate a new Mechitza in your shul. Help with our Backpack Buddies that help feed poor kids on the weekends. Find ways to help others in need. Ask your family—when the time comes—to bury you with your receipts. These kinds of bribes are welcome in Heaven.
If you have a dispute with long-time friends, or with family, are you going to judge them? What bout the good memories of the good things that have happened over the years between you? Accept them as a bribe. So, if someone in your family hurts you, accept your good times with them in the past as their bribes.
For 20 years I’v been listening to Rabbi Yisrael Reisman’s (Shoftim #143:40 min) Saturday night Navi Shiur Bible class. Once he told the story of when he was given a ticket for going the wrong way on a one-way street in Brooklyn. He told the policeman, there was no sign saying this was a one-way street, but the cop told him, “Tell it to the judge!”
It was a few months till his court date, and he became more and more nervous as it approached. He asked a student to take pictures of the street corner without a one-way sign and carefully prepared what he was going to say. When he finally appeared before the judge—low and behold—the judge was a student of his in his Saturday night Navi Shiur Bible class! The policeman told the judge what happened, and Rabbi Reisman produced the pictures and told his side of the story. Guess what happened. He was acquitted. Baruch Hashem!
My friends, this month before Rosh Hashanah is called Ellul. Our Sages say it’s an acronym of the verse from Song of Songs: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li (I am to my beloved as my beloved is unto me). What’s the connection between Rosh Hashanah and beloved? If our judge is also our beloved, it makes a difference.
So, I ask you, “How well do you know Hashem your Judge?” Now’s the time this month before Rosh Hashanah for us to think about what we can do now to get closer to the Supreme Judge—to know Him better—before our judgment. Amen!
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