Rosh Hashanah 1^st Day 5784

Once upon a time there was a tavern

Where we used to raise a glass or 2

Remember how we laughed away the hours

Dreamed of all the great things we would do?

         [Sing with me] Those were the days, my friend

         We thought they’d never end

         We’d sing and dance forever and a day

         We’d live the life we choose

         We’d fight and never lose

         For we were young and sure to have our way…La la la

Those were the days. Really? There’s a beautiful Sephardic prayer recited after the last prayer service of the year and right before the 1^st service of the New Year with the refrain: Tichleh Shana v’Kililoteha. (May the year end, and its curses), Tachel Shana u’Virchoteha (and let the New Year begin with its blessings). What blessings do we have? Mass shootings? Inflation? Trumps’s indictments? Hunter’s scandals? Immigration? Climate change? These are our blessings?

 Here are some headlines I’ve recently seen

- “The American Century is Over”: Harper’s Magazine

- “Is America in Decline?”: Economist Magazine

- “Big Tech is Bracing for Possible Recession”: Washington Post

- “A Country Fractured”: Time Magazine

- And then there was this one from the New York Times: “We are Depressed, Anxious, Tired and Distracted.”

- and from CNN: “Antisemitic incidents in the US are at the highest level recorded since the 1970s.”

The media leads us to believe that the world is falling apart, that things have never been worse. I don’t belittle any of these serious issues. But some of you are not going to like what I have to say, because I have good news—and many Jews don’t like hearing good news—the like to kvetch! I want to tell you today on Rosh Hashanah that the world is Not falling apart. Don’t listen to the Chicken Littles of this world that the sky is falling. In fact, the world has never been better!

Don’t believe me? Let’s start with the last headline. Antisemitism is on the rise in America—at least that’s what everyone is saying. It’s true, the number of antisemitic incidents we track has dramatically increased. The demonization of Israel and its supporters have become routine. In academia and even in popular culture, the acceptance of myths about Jews “oppressing the Palestinian people of color” is rarely even challenged.

Are Jews really in serious trouble here in America? Do you know in the past 1900 years, wherever Jews were living— whether from England, France and Spain where they were expelled, in Czarist Russia, the Ottoman Empire, or N. Africa, every single one of those Jews would have given anything to move to Toco Hills! (A handful might have held out for Sandy Springs!)

I heard an amazing insight by Rabbi Mannis Friedman that turns this belief on its head: The truth is that Antisemitism is failing. Pro-semitism is growing. There’s a huge Menorah standing in front of the Kremlin—the house that Stalin built! There’s a huge Menorah on Hanukkah in front of the Brandenburg Gate—the center of Nazi activity—the house that Hitler built! There’s a huge Menorah in Dubai—a Muslim country. And where you have a Menorah, you can expect to have a kosher restaurant—because what do you do after you light the Menorah? You’ve got to have some latkes. So, there’s a kosher restaurant, a Chabad house and a Chief Rabbi in Dubai. Antisemitism is not what it used to be.

He’s right! Jews and Jewish folkways have become “trendy” in American culture.

·       Thus, comedians like Jon Stewart and the Saturday Night Live cast frequently use Jewish references and expressions on their shows.

·       The NY Times recently reported that Havah Negilah is “now being played at non-Jewish weddings, sporting events and trendy bars.” Havah Negilah, in case you didn’t know, is a Jewish song. And we owe a debt of gratitude to Harry Belafonte for its popularity.

·       And if that’s not enough, after checking dozens of hot dogs, guess which hot dog the Wall Street Journal chose as the best in America? Hebrew National! It answers to a higher authority! 

·       There is now an annual Seder in the White House.

This is why I think that the recent brouhaha of attributing antisemitism to adding a prosthetic bigger nose to Hellen Mirren in the new movie “Golda” about Golda Meir, and to Bradley Cooper playing Leonard Bernstein in the soon to be released movie “Maestro” is much ado about nothing. Pew studies again and again confirm that, “of all the religious groups in the U.S., Americans feel most warmly toward Jews.” In fact, 92% of Americans look favorably at Jews! 92%, can you believe that? Antisemitism is not what it used to be. Very few Americans are ansemitic!

With all the recent increase in Antisemitic incidents, with all the anti-Israel slurs in the media and by politicians like Ilhan Omar and the “squad,” with overt Antisemitic slurs by celebrities like Kayne West, Pink Floyd’s Roger Waters and athletes like NBA’s Kyrie Irving…can you believe that in a brief 3 decades, Jews have gone from being unwelcome at the country club to drinking 4 cups of wine at a Seder in the White House!? Yes, Jews have never had it better in America.

Most Americans, however, are really concerned these days—unable to see hope for the future. They yearn for the good old days. When asked if life in their country is better or worse today than 50 years ago, 31% of Britons, 41% of Americans and 46% of the French say it’s worse. 

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I can’t predict what will happen in this New Year. But I can offer some comfort in telling you that the “good old days” some of us long for, were NOT as good as today. Although war still rages in the Ukraine and there are a few conflicts around the globe, the truth is that war is rarer today than it has been for most of the past 50 years. Life expectancy, literacy and standards of living have all risen to historic heights. Hunger, child mortality, extreme poverty have also declined.

People have a tendency to picture the past as this magical time, something much better than it really was. “Those were the days my friends” is a great song, but its message is: now we’ve got problems, but back then? As Archie and Edith Bunker would sing, “Those were the days…” 

Well, let me tell you about those days! The Lower East Side of New York has undergone urban renewal. There are now tours there showing some of what’s left of the “good old days” that many Jews so nostalgically recall there: Yiddish theatres and synagogues and knishes and pushcarts. The truth is, it wasn’t so wonderful. I know! I used to go shopping there when I lived in NY, and it was a dump—run down, filled with poverty. Those were the days??? 

Nostalgia sometimes distorts the past, and we do this especially when it comes to our children. Wherever you look someone is writing about how children these days are self-centered, ungrateful and disrespectful. Need I remind you that in the “good old days” Cain killed Abel, Esav tried to kill Jacob and Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. I love hearing people bemoaning today’s youth, saying things like, “When I was a kid, in the winter I would walk a mile to school in the snow.” The truth is, kids today are what kids have always been: bearers of unlimited potential, with an inclination for the good and the holy. 

We need to stop playing the “good old days” game. You think those were the days? Today we live in remarkable times—and we don’t appreciate it. Bill Gates writes: The world is progressive, and resources are becoming more abundant. I’d rather go into a grocery store today than a king’s banquet a hundred years ago.

I learned this lesson when I had my heart attack and had 3 stents put in the arteries going to my heart. That sounds like quite a big deal. Well, let me tell you … they couldn’t do it like that in the good old days! That experience taught me another lesson and I gave a sermon about it. I mentioned that when I told the surgeon that my father had a quadruple bypass at the same age he said, “So your heart condition was pre-destined at birth.” You see, my NOT exercising, my being somewhat overweight, guzzling alcohol, eating all sorts of chazerai…had nothing to do with the heart attack. I was born that way, what could I do!?

That’s what I said that Shabbos. The next day I got this email:

Dear Rabbi Kunis,

         I wanted to share my reaction to what you said in your sermon about your past “indiscretions.” My lifestyle has been one of almost daily aerobic exercise for more than 45 years, a low fat, moderate to low carbohydrate diet, normal BMI, and no smoking, ever. And as a result, I will be having a cardiac catheterization tomorrow morning at St. Joseph to determine if I have a blockage causing the changes in my EKG. Additionally, I have aortic valve regurgitation that shows up as mild to severe in several echocardiograms. So—Nu Rabbi? Who had more fun getting to this point? …

I thank Gd that I live—not in the “good old days”—but now, with the medical technology that saved my life. 

My friends, we don’t have to get stuck in the past. Sigmund Freud believed people cannot really change as they grow older. He most probably felt this way because of his mother. But today, mental health professionals know he was wrong! I have seen so many of you changing over the years.

·    Some of you are getting more grumpy; others are becoming more grateful.

·      Some of you resist change like it’s the plague; others welcome change as the antidote to “same old, same old.”

·     Some of you become more miserly; others become more generous. The miserly ones are the ones constantly worrying that they are going to outlive their retirement money even though they would have to live to 150 to do that! The generous ones are those who appreciate the lesson a colleague of mine put so well, when at the funeral of a wealthy man he was asked how much the man had left, he replied: “He left it all.” 

Abraham in our Rosh Hashanah Torah readings didn’t get stuck in the past. He kept moving on with his life following Gd’s direction: from leaving his homeland and following Gd to Canaan, to agreeing to send away his son Ishmael and sacrifice his son Isaac—the son of his old age. Abraham didn’t get stuck in the past, bemoaning his fate, asking why can’t things be like they used to be.

 Change for the better … or change for the worse … it’s up to us. We have to make it happen. And we can only do that if we live—not in the “good old days”—but making the most out of every day! So no, my friends, the world is NOT coming apart. The sky is not falling down. Life is not worse than it was. Those were not the good old days. We are living in the good old days NOW! Life NOW is far better than it ever was and, Gd willing, it will continue to get better and better.

What we need to decide on Rosh Hashanah is how are we going to live our lives—not in the good old days of the past, but moving forward in a New Year—in a way that makes them more meaningful, more fulfilling, more exciting, happier, closer to Gd.

The rabbis teach us that the work on Rosh Hashanah is not about what you did right and what you did wrong. That’s why we don’t ask for forgiveness on Rosh Hashanah. That’s for Yom Kippur. The work of Rosh Hashanah is about “Who You Are” and “Who you can be.” Gd will forgive us on Yom Kippur, not so much for how we behaved—for none of us really merit forgiveness. Gd will forgive us for the merit of how much we yearn today on Rosh Hashanah to change, to be who we can be. If you really yearn to be your better self, Gd will forgive you on Yom Kippur to give you a chance. But if you only go through the motions on Rosh Hashanah, He’ll be less forgiving.

One of the great mistakes we make in life is not knowing the difference between what I do and what I am. They’re connected, but what I do is NOT who I am. We make this mistake A LOT. When you talk to people and they do something wrong, that’s who they become to you. But it’s what they did—it’s not who they are.

We do this to ourselves. We become the things that we do. We are rabbis, professionals, businessmen/women and Indian chiefs. We know we are not our work, but we don’t really know it. We stand before Gd on Rosh Hashanah—which is also called Yom Hadin (The Day of Judgment)—without saying the word “sin,” because sin is connected to what we did … and Rosh Hashanah is about who we are!

The prayers for Rosh Hashanah are all about Vision—about what the world could be and should be! Rosh Hashanah is a day you get to dream … to re-establish the vision for your life, to hit the reset button on your relationships. Gd starts over with the world, and you can start over with the ones you love. You weren’t the perfect spouse, parent or sibling? That was before Rosh Hashanah. Today, on Rosh Hashanah Gd recreates the world, and that means now you can recreate yourself and change.

So don’t let Rosh Hashanah slip by. Don’t waste it by spacing out during your prayers, looking forward to the meals and getting lost in random conversation—and then it’s over. Use it! Press the reset button as you speak to Gd in your language. Share your inner desires, what you want … with Gd. Get to a deeper place in your personal prayer than you’ve ever been to before. Connect to your Father in Heaven. He just wants you to be the best version of yourself.

My friends, you know what you have to do. Stop living the same year again and again and calling it a life. To truly be alive every day we must change and grow. So, stop waiting until you lose those 10 pounds, until your kids leave the house, until you retire, until your car I paid off, until your home is paid off, to decide that there is no better time than right now to take control of your life and be the person you know you really are.

Let’s start today. When you go home, be extra kind to your loved ones—especially your spouse. Show your love by doing caring things for them every day. Make Gd proud by taking on 2 new mitzvot this year that you’re not now doing like putting on Tefillin and saying Shema every weekday morning … shrimp and crab cakes have got to go (that’s a biggie!) … lighting Shabbos candles … saying a bracha before eating anything—showing some appreciation to Gd for your food.

I’m asking YOU today on Rosh Hashanah to get rid of all your excuses and make a decision to partner with Gd in drawing closer to Him—thereby making your life more meaningful, more fulfilling, more exciting and happier.

Tichleh Shana v’Kililoteha. (May the old year end with its curses), Tachel Shana u’Virchoteha (and let the New Year begin with its blessings). Amen!