SUKKOT 5785 1^st DAY

Finding Gd in the Sukkah

Our tradition calls Sukkot Z’man Simchateynu (the time of our joy)—a holiday of complete happiness. But it’s also a holiday that seems to be misplaced. Why do we have the holiday of Sukkot? One opinion the rabbis tell us is because when the Jews left Egypt, they didn’t just leave by themselves, Gd surrounded them with Ananey Hakavod (Clouds of Glory) that guided them where to go and protected them from the elements and harsh temperatures of the dessert.

The Midrash and commentators fancifully enhance their miraculous powers by saying that these clouds also kept their clothing clean, flattened mountains and raised up valleys to make their paths smooth, and killed snakes and scorpions in their way.

Whether you accept all those enhancements or not, you must admit there was something special about the relationship of Gd and the Jewish people with the Exodus. As the verse from Isaiah (2:2) we read on Rosh Hashanah, Gd says: “I recall you for the kindness of your youth, when you were a bride, how you followed me into the dessert.” Think about it, the Jewish people followed Gd into the dessert. They only had as much water and food as they could carry—not much. But they trusted that Gd would take care of them, which He did, and part of that were these clouds gave them the ability to survive. Notice that Gd calls His people His “bride.”

Why do we celebrate Sukkot by living in a Sukkah? The Torah (Lev. 23:43) says it’s “because I (Gd) caused you to live in Sukkot when I took you from the land of Egypt.” Rabbi Akiba (Sifra 17:11) adds that the Sukkah represents these Clouds of Glory that shows Gd’s love. Either way, an obvious question to ask is: Why now? Don’t we have enough holidays in this month of Tishre? Couldn’t we pick another month? After all, when did the Clouds of Glory start protecting us? As we left Egypt. And when was that? Passover time—in the spring!

As you know, I’m an Imago couples’ therapist. I once had a couple in therapy that were having a really hard time. The husband did something that was really bad and his wife found out and kicked him out of the house. She basically said, “It’s over.” Their marriage then started to spiral out of control and that’s when they came to see me.

They both tried hard to salvage their marriage, but she just couldn’t get over what her husband did. I worked with them trying to get them to understand how they were fundamentally a good couple and how they had the potential of becoming a great couple.

At some point in therapy, it dawned on him that she was right, that he never mentally moved from single to married and was acting in a totally selfish way. So he said, “I’m sorry.”

         Halfway through the next session, she turned to him and said, “I was thinking about your apology, and I forgive you. You’re a human being, and whatever was going on with you, I’m really trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. I thought about it, and I don’t want to hold on to this grudge. I forgive you.”

         The husband started to cry and said, “Wow, thank you. So can I move back to the house tonight?”

         “No.”

         “But you said you forgive me.”

         “Yes, I forgive you, but it doesn’t mean I want to live with you again. I forgive you, meaning I’ve made peace with it. I don’t want to harbor a grudge, but I’m not sure if I can stay married to you even though I forgive you.”

I heard this and it dawned on me that there’s an incredible distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can forgive somebody and never want to see them again. The end of the story is that they kept on trying and trying and ultimately she said, “Come back and we’ll give it a try. In fact, they built a much stronger marriage than they ever had.

In many ways this is the story of the Jewish people and Sukkot. Why do we have Sukkot? After the Exodus Gd took the Jews to Mt. Sinai and handed them the Torah—the book that would change the world. He formalized a relationship with them like a husband and wife. It was insane, incredible.

After the festivities Moses said, “See you in a little bit.” He climbed up the mountain and came down 40 days later with 2 tablets of the 10 Commandments. Low and behold he saw the Jews doing something unspeakable—worshipping a Golden Calf! He threw down the tablets, and Gd said, “It’s over. I’m out of here.” Gd then removed the Ananey Hakavod (Clouds of Glory) that were protecting them. The Talmud speaks about all this in the language of a bride being disloyal to her groom under the Chupa.

The Jews realizing they did something so very wrong said, “I’m sorry.”

         Gd replied, “I don’t know, I don’t know if I can have this relationship with you.” And they became separated from Gd.

         Imagine what they must have thought: “What’s going to be with us? We had the Creator of the universe with us, and we gave it up for a golden calf? Besides, how can we survive in the desert without Gd?”

Moses went back up the mountain to reconcile, and after 40 days Gd said, Salachti Kidvarecha (I forgive you). Guess what day that was? Yom Kippur! which is why Yom Kippur has since become the day of forgiveness. Remember, the Jews had lost the Clouds of Glory with its protection and accompanying feeling of Gd’s loving embrace. So, when Moses returned and reported that Gd had forgiven them, they assumed the clouds would come back with their heavenly hug—after all Gd forgave them. But the clouds didn’t return that day, or the next day, nor the day after. Maybe this was Gd’s way of saying, “I forgive you but I don’t think I can live with you like this anymore?”

       The end of the story is that the Clouds of Glory did come back. Do you know when? 5 days after Yom Kippur—which is now Sukkot! And when they came back the Jews realized that the Gd didn’t just forgive them, but they’re back together, still married—now stronger than ever! And that’s why we celebrate Sukkot 5 days after Yom Kippur.

The joy of Sukkot is the joy of Hashem saying, “I’m not just forgiving you, we’re back together! You’re now in my embrace again. And no matter what we want and get in our lives, in our core we believe that no matter what’s happening in our lives or in the world, if we’re in the embrace of Hashem, it’s going to be OK.

And that’s why Sukkot is called Zeman Simchateynu (the Time of our Joy), because happiness is being in Hashem’s embrace. As we say in Psalm 27 every day from the month before Rosh Hashanah through Sukkot: Acat shaalti meyeyt Hashem (Only one thing to I ask of Hashem), Shivti b’veyt Hashem kol y’mey chayay (that I may dwell in the house of Hashem all the days of my life). 5 days ago, Gd forgave us when we were angelic on Yom Kippur, and that Gd has now brought Himself into our home again—into our Sukkah.

What do we do in a Sukkah? We eat, relax and some sleep—we get to be ourselves. You don’t have to go to a Mountaintop to find Gd. Every time you walk into a Sukkah you’re connecting with Him. So, spend as much time as you can in a Sukkah this week. If you don’t have one, you can use the shul’s Sukkah. Drop by even for 10 minutes, because when you walk into a Sukkah, you’re in Gd’s Cloud of Glory again. So do it and feel the joy, the happiness of Sukkot.

       My blessing to us on Sukkot is that we realize that the greatest joy we have in our lives isn’t the stuff that we have. The greatest joy we have in our lives is in the embrace of Hashem. If we just let Gd in and nestle in His embrace, we’ll feel His Clouds of Glory, and that feeling will last throughout the year. Amen!