SHABBAT HAGADOL 5785

Half a Matzah

Making Pesach can be so costly. And since tonight is the 1^st Seder, I’d like to speak about an interesting Seder custom that doesn’t cost any money but does give us a great insight to life. One of the 1^st things we do at the Seder—even before we begin the Haggadah and even before the Ma Nishtanah—is Yachatz. We break the middle of the 3 matzahs on the Seder plate. The larger part is put away for the Afikoman (to keep the attention of the children) and the smaller part remains between the 2 whole matzahs throughout most of the Seder—until we eat.  

This broken matzah is true lechem oni—the bread of affliction. Not only is this matzah, plain, pure flour and water with no flavoring whatsoever—just a flat, tasteless wafer—but on top of that, it’s now broken as well. Bad enough the Jewish slaves were forced to eat a matzah, but now we’re eating broken matzah! As Rabbi Shlomo Riskin points out, since we brake the matzah before we begin to recite the Haggadah, we wind up reciting most of the Haggadah over ½ a matzah!

The point is, aren’t our lives like that?! One can live most of one’s life over ½ a matzah. There’s always something eluding us. For some it may be health, or wealth, or nachas from our kids, or just general happiness. Somehow, as much as we achieve in life, there is always something that remains elusive—that somehow keeps slipping out of our grasp. It’s so true … our whole life is but ½ a matzah!

Our Sages (Kohelet Rabba 1:32-4) taught, Eyn adam meyt v’chatzi taavoto b’yado (No person dies having achieved even ½ of his ambitions and desires). Really? You may ask. Aren’t there the few super-successful people out there who have everything?

               Of course. But as soon as they achieve one ambition, they broaden their horizons with another. It could be in finance, politics, sports, art, our personal hobbies … with each success our ambitions grow.

               Bill Gates is one of the world’s richest men—rich enough to provide for his great, great, great grandchildren and their great grandchildren as well! So he needed a new challenge. Now he works to eradicate poverty in Africa and Asia. 

The Sages (ibid.) put it very simply: Mi Sheyesh lo mana rotzeh matayim (If a man has $100 he wants $200). And if he gets $200, he then wants $400. Take the Lottery. When we fantasizing about winning, we’re prepared to give a big percentage of our winnings away to the shul, to family and friends. But, Gd willing you do win, suddenly it’s not that easy to part with.

You know the old story of the guy who won the lottery. His wife—who had checked the tickets after the drawing knew he had won. She was worried how to break the news to him because of his heart condition. So she went to the Rabbi and asked him to tell her husband. She warned him to be very gentle—to talk about the weather and sports, and then gradually to the lottery.

               So, the Rabbi talked to him about sports, about the weather. And then he said: “Tell me, Jake, I hear that you play the lottery? Is that true?”

               “Yep, every single week,” said the Jake.

               “Tell me, Jake, what would you do if you won $50 million dollars?”

               “Well, I’d give it all to the shul,” said Jake.

               And the Rabbi had a heart attack!

I want you to know that my cardiologist has informed me that my heart is fully recovered from my heart attack and can now withstand such a shock!

It’s easy to be generous when you don’t have it. But when you do, it’s not so easy. The truth is that we go through life with only ½ a matzah. While some of our dreams and aspirations do materialize to one extent or another, there’s always something that remains elusive. But just because we can’t have it all, should we stop trying?  

The Kotzker Rebbe asked his students: “What’s the enemy of Good [not the opposite, but the enemy]?” One said, “The enemy of Good is Bad.” Another suggested Evil must be the enemy of Good. But the Rebbe said, “No, the enemy of Good is Excellence.”

               How could excellence is the enemy of Good? He explained. Many strive for excellence, but because they couldn’t achieve it, they stopped trying altogether.

How many of us never achieved complete success because “conditions weren’t suitable.” Or, “I’m a perfectionist so, if I can’t do it right, I’d rather not do it at all.” So what happens? Nothing. While we wait for the perfect opportunity, every other opportunity passes us by—and we’re left with nothing. “All or Nothing” isn’t very practical. 

Tonight’s Seder reminds us that if the whole Haggada can be recited over a broken matzah, then there’s nothing wrong with ½ a matzah! One guy says to me, “Rabbi, I’m never going to become fully Shomer Shabbat, so why should I bother making Kiddush and having a Shabbat dinner?” Or, “Rabbi, I should come to your Torah classes? Me? I’ll never amount to any kind of Torah scholar? Never in a million years! It’s a waste of time to even try.”

All studies now show that fewer and fewer young people are getting married. So many singles are still looking for Mr. Right or Miss Perfect. I’m not saying people should settle for mediocrity, but we have to be realistic. In my 20’s I remember bachelors waiting to find a Marilyn Monroe with brains. Let me tell you, they’re still bachelors!

A few years ago I went to visit a colleague who was ill. We got to talking about his son who was approaching 40 and still single. I asked him, “So what’s he looking for?” He laughed. I asked, “Why are you laughing?’

               “You don’t know my son. My son wants everything in a wife. She should be beautiful, a successful professional and religious. You know what he’s looking for? He’s looking for Pamela Anderson with a Shaytel! 

We can spend a lifetime waiting to excel and acquire the best of everything. In the end it never happens. If “½ a loaf is better than no loaf,” than ½ a matzah is better than no matzah! Yes, says the Kotzker, the greatest enemy of good is not evil but the unrealistic demand for excellence or nothing.

So, my friends, take the ½ a matzah that life hands you. It doesn’t have to be the end. It can be a beginning. Say Kiddush on Friday nights. Put on Tefillin every morning. Even if you won’t become a Rabbi, come and learn Torah. Do the deal—even if it isn’t the mother of all deals. What Gd gives you in your life is usually what you need. So get married! Even if she isn’t the fulfillment of your every fantasy, she just might be really perfect for you. Amen!