SHOFTIM 5779

Are you feeling down about the state of the world? Is it difficult to watch the news or read the newspaper with all the storms and shootings and tragedies that are a part of our daily lives? Judaism’s remedy is Elul. Even though last Shabbat was the 1^st day of Rosh Chodesh Ellul, today is technically the 1^st Shabbat of this special month before Rosh Hashanah and so it deserves a special pre-Rosh Hashanah Ellul message—especially since Rosh Hashanah is only 3 weeks from tomorrow night!

I begin with a question: What is our personal responsibility, how do we do our part to make the coming New Year a better one? How can we possibly do anything that would actually make a difference? Can anyone of us imagine that we could personally play a role in changing the world?

My mentor, Rabbi Benjamin Blech (Aish 8/31/19), teaches that Judaism gives a startling answer. Maimonides expressed it by way of a remarkable illustration. Every one of us, he taught in Hilchot Teshuva: needs to think that as Gd judges the world in His annual review before the High Holy Days, He finds it perfectly balanced between its sins and good deeds. Divine judgment withholds its final decree until you are brought into the equation. And if your deeds also seem to be almost perfectly balanced between good and evil, then one, just one additional good deed—no matter how small—can be the one to tilt your judgment favorably, which in turn might decide the fate of all of humankind.

Rabbi Blech suggests that Maimonides is telling us that the most important piece of advice about how to change the world comes down to 2 words: “think small.” It may be far-fetched. Yet this, the greatest philosopher of the Jewish people did not hesitate to phrase it this way in order to impress upon every one of us the truth that every person makes a difference—and every one of our actions has consequences.

Just a few years ago Muhammad Yunus won the Nobel peace prize for turning the concept of thinking small into a major innovation which has already revolutionized the banking system as well as the lives of millions of people. In 1974 Bangladesh was hit by a devastating flood followed by a severe famine. Yunus decided to lend just $27 without any collateral to a group of women of the city of Joba nearby the University where he taught.

Women there made these wonderful bamboo baskets but were forced to sell them at such a low price, they could barely pay for the raw material. They could never purchase discounted larger amounts for lack of capital. Yunus initiated what is now known as “microcredit,” allowing poor people anxious to make a go of a small business to succeed.

With the small sum of $27 they received, they were able to finance their work and to establish themselves. Thus “micro-finance,” or “microcredit,” was born. Thinking small—something never practiced before—created a new way of life and of opportunity. One small act changed the balance of the scale—and today, for just $27, millions prosper.

There is yet another way to think small that is beautifully expressed by a story told about the Chofetz Chaim (d. 1933). At one time, he was asked how he was able to have such a great impact on the Jewish world. This was his answer: Originally, I set out to change the world, but I failed. So I decided to scale back my efforts and only influence the Jewish community of Poland, but I failed there, too. So I targeted the community of my hometown of Radin, but I achieved no greater success. Then I gave all my effort to changing my own family and I failed at that as well. Finally, I decided to change myself and that’s how I had such an impact on the Jewish world.

Leo Tolstoy came to the same conclusion when he wrote: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” And so the world continues as it was with everyone complaining about the sins of everyone else—while paying very little attention to themselves. Most people want to change the world to improve their lives, but the world they need to change 1^st is the one inside themselves.

Dr. Allen Rosenthal—our founding president may he rest in peace—was one of the kindest persons I ever met. Even as a pediatric dentist he exuded kindness, and children—could you believe this—just loved going to their dentist. He treated those who couldn’t afford for free. Everyone who came to shul got this big hug from him. He was really taken by—what has become a movement of sorts called, “practice random (or in some versions, small) acts of kindness.” This movement doesn’t concern itself with the really big issues like Climate Change or nuclear proliferation—issues which realistically most of us will be unable to influence much—but with the smaller daily interactions which in fact define everyday life. Allen taught me to embrace this precisely because its demands are so easy and yet, if universally practiced, might actually change the world.

In the lobby I have a sheet with “50 Fun Random Acts of Kindness Ideas” to do. On this 1^st Shabbat in Ellul I ask you to take it home with you and pick a few and do one every day. Here’s a sample dozen:

1. Check in with someone who’s sick.
2. Hold the door open for the person behind you.
3. Give a genuine compliment to somebody at least once a day.
4. Write down what you appreciate about another family member and pass it along.
5. Ask if you can help someone who may be having a difficult time in life right now.
6. Make a card for someone special.
7. Ask a senior citizen about their life story and truly listen.
8. Lend a hand to someone doing hard work.
9. Buy a homeless person a sandwich.

• Here’s one for Atlanta drivers: Let a person out from a side road who’s waiting to get into the main road.
• Give your grandparents a call just because.
• Volunteer at our shul.

My friends, grandiose plans are great—but we rarely do them. Impressive ideas for changing the world are, yes, impressive but frequently impractical and unrealizable. So this precious month before Rosh Hashanah, let’s scale down our ambitions and think small—and in that way be written in the Book of Life for the New Year as we change ourselves and the world. Amen!

50 Fun Random Acts of Kindness Ideas:

1. Pay it Backward: buy coffee for the person behind you in line.
2. Compliment the first three people you talk to today.
3. Send a positive text message to five different people right now.
4. Post inspirational sticky notes around your neighborhood, office, school, etc.
5. Tell someone they dropped a dollar (even though they didn’t). Then give them a dollar.
6. Donate old towels or blankets to an animal shelter.
7. Say hi to the person next to you on the elevator.
8. Surprise a neighbor with freshly baked cookies or treats!
9. Let someone go in front of you in line who only has a few items.
10. Leave a gas gift card at a gas pump.
11. Throw a party to celebrate someone just for being who they are, which is awesome.
12. Have a LinkedIn account? Write a recommendation for coworker or connection.
13. Leave quarters at the laundromat.
14. Encounter someone in customer service who is especially kind? Take an extra five minutes to tell their manager.
15. Leave unused coupons next to corresponding products in the grocery store.
16. Leave a note on someone’s car telling them how awesome they parked.
17. Try to make sure every person in a group conversation feels included.
18. Write a kind message on your mirror with a dry erase marker for yourself, your significant other or a family member.
19. Place a positive body image notes in jean pockets at a department store.
20. Smile at five strangers.
21. Set an alarm on your phone to go off at three different times during the day. In those moments, do something kind for someone else.
22. Send a gratitude email to a coworker who deserves more recognition.
23. Practice self-kindness and spend 30 minutes doing something you love today.
24. Give away stuff for free on Craig’s List.
25. Write a gratitude list in the morning and again in the evening.
26. Know parents who could use a night out? Offer to babysit for free.
27. Hold up positive signs for traffic or in a park for people exercising outside!
28. Return shopping carts for people at the grocery store.
29. Buy a plant. Put it in a terracotta pot. Write positive words that describe a friend on the pot. Give it to that friend!
30. Write a positive comment on your favorite blog, website, or a friend’s social media account.
31. Have a cleanup party at a beach or park.
32. While you’re out, compliment a parent on how well-behaved their child is.
33. Leave a kind server the biggest tip you can afford.
34. When you’re throwing something away on the street, pick up any litter around you and put that in the trash too.
35. Pay the toll for the person behind you.
36. Put 50 paper hearts in a box. On each cutout write something that is special about your partner or a friend. Give them the box and tell them to pull out a heart anytime they need a pick-me-up.
37. Everyone is important. Learn the names of your office security guard, the person at the front desk and other people you see every day. Greet them by name. Also say “hello” to strangers and smile. These acts of kindness are so easy, and they almost always make people smile.
38. Write your partner a list of things you love about them.
39. Purchase extra dog or cat food and bring it to an animal shelter.
40. Find opportunities to give compliments. It costs nothing, takes no time, and could make someone’s entire day. Don’t just think it. Say it.
41. Take flowers or treats to the nurses’ station at your nearest hospital.
42. Keep an extra umbrella at work, so you can lend it out when it rains.
43. Send a ‘Thank you’ card or note to the officers at your local police or fire station.
44. Take muffins or cookies to your local librarians.
45. Run an errand for a family member who is busy.
46. Leave a box of goodies in your mailbox for your mail carrier.
47. Tape coins around a playground for kids to find.
48. Put your phone away while in the company of others.
49. Email or write to a former teacher who made a difference in your life.
50. When you hear that discouraging voice in your head, tell yourself something positive — you deserve kindness too!

EKEV 5779

Dedication of our New Aron Kodesh

How wonderful is our spiritual home this morning with our new Aron Kodesh. 15 years ago, our own Israel Peljovich—who is a very busy custom furniture and cabinet maker—noticed a couple of ancient doors in a container from Spain at one of his suppliers. The doors were so broken upthat they were about to be discarded as firewood. The artist in him immediately realized that there was something special about them—especially the row of Jewish stars down the center of each of the doors. Israel took the doors to his shop with the thought of making an Aron Kodesh for his new shul, Shaarei Shamayim.

A year later, Israel and Lidia vacationed in Spain and noticed in St. Anna’s church in Toledo, doors with the same markings. I had done an internet search at the time and also found the same doors in a Synagogue from before the Inquisition of 1492—indicating these doors are more than 530 years old!

Over the next few years Israel worked on restoring the doors in his spare time. It was painstaking work, but an act of love. After he completed the 1^stdoor, he waited for Shaarei Shamayim to have a permanent home before completing the Aron Kodesh. He got help from Jonathan Alexander, who with his golden hands and Israel’s guidance, was able to restore the 2^nd door. This was an especially meaningful task for Jonathan who was fighting a serious illness at the time. Jonathan credits this holy work with helping to save his life as he is now on the path to a complete recovery—Baruch Hashem (thank Gd).There are no words to tell you all the love and effort it took to make this happen. Some thought it may never happen. Baruch Hashem, thank Gd…it is here!

There was once a Greek sculptor named Phidias who was commissioned to make a statue to be set against the wall of a temple in Athens. Phidias used only the best and most expensive materials on every inch of the statue.

           A friend asked him, “I can understand why you use the best material on the front side of the statue, for that will be seen. But why must you do so on the back? It’ll be up against a wall and no one will see it.”

           The artist’s answer was, “The gods see everywhere.”

It was a wise answer, for it expresses the truth that a real artist does not create in order to impress others, but to express his innermost self; and so, a work of art has to be just right—both inside and out. Israel might have taken short-cuts on the inside of the Aron Kodesh where no one sees, but he could not.

Our Torah reading tells us how Moses put the 10 Commandments and the Torah in the original Aron Kodesh—the Holy Ark of the Mishkan and Holy Temple. There are similarities between our Aron Kodesh and the original one. Of course, both contained the holy Torah. Gd instructed Moses that the originalAron Kodesh was to be made of boxes of wood and gold—just like our new Aron Kodesh. You may not be able to see the boxes behind the doors, but you can certainly see the gold—and it’s real gold!

The wood of the original Aron Kodesh was to be cedarwood, covered with pure gold, mibayit umichutz, “both inside and out” (Ex. 25:11): outside, where it can be seen, and inside, where only Gd will know. The Talmud (Yoma 72b) comments: “[From this verse we learn] that any wise scholar that is not Tocho K’varo—the same kind of person inside and out—is not a wise scholar.” He cannot be impressive and ostentatious in his piety when people are looking, and a scoundrel when no one else sees.

Do you know the origin of the word “sincere”? it comes from the Latin words, “sine” and “cera,” meaning, “without wax.” When artists were commissioned to produce a work of sculpture, those who were honest would use pure marble. Those who were fraudulent would use good material in front, where people could see, and inferior material in the back and then patch up the holes with wax. For this reason, when a work was completed, the artist would attest to the quality of his work by signing that it had been done “sincerely,” that is, without wax. And so, when we sign a letter “sincerely,” we are testifying to the truth of our words.

One of my favorite stories is that of the shopkeeper who told his friend that he had a moral dilemma. “Yesterday a regular customer mistakenly gave me a $100 bill instead of a $10 bill.”

           “I understand,” said the friend, “Your moral dilemma is whether or not to keep the money.”

           “No,” answered the shopkeeper, “of course I’ll keep the money. My problem is whether or not to tell my partner about it!” 

For Israel Peljovich this principle of mibayit umichutz—that what is inside should be the same as what is outside—is sacred.

My friends, how often do we feel great love and pride inside, but never share it, never display it on the outside and tell how proud we are and how much we love them? How many of us hold our feelings inside until it is too late? Mibayit umichutz, the Torah teaches us that we must be the same on the outside as we are on the inside. We must tell those we care about how we feel—even, and especially, if we must stretch a bit to get it out.

When we come before our Judge at the end of our lives and show Him the work of art that we have produced—which is our life—may each of us be able to say that whatever we have made of ourselves was done “sincerely.” May we be able to say that we were the same kind of people inside and out, in public and in private, where everyone could see…and where only Gd could see. If we can say that, then like Phidias of Greece, like Betzalel who built the Aron Kodesh of old, and like Israel Peljovich who built our new Aron Kodesh, we will have produced a work of art that will be counted as truly sacred. 

So, whenever you think or speak about lofty principles like compassion, honesty or truth ask yourself whether those lofty principles are really you. Whenever you think to yourself how much you love someone, ask yourself whether the love you express to yourself, is actually shared with those you love. If not, I ask you—by your words and by your deeds—to elevate yourselves!

The Torah (Num. 7:9) tells us that the original Aron Kodesh was not put in a wagon when they traveled to the Holy Land but carried upon the shoulders of 4Kohanim. But how were they able to carry it? It weighed more than a ton? The Talmud teaches (Sota 35a): Nosey aron et nosav, “The power of the Aron Kodeshwas that those who held it up were, in turn, up-held by it.”

Maya Angelou once said: “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!” Every time we look at thisAron Kodesh will be one of those moments that take our breath away.

Israel and Lidia, you have upheld the Aron Kodesh by making this most amazing addition to our shul. May Hashem in turn uphold you and grant you many years of life, health and happiness. Amen!

VAETCHANAN 5779

Yesterday the Jewish world celebrated one of its most unusual holidays. Does anyone know what it was? That’s right, Tu B’Av, the 15^th day of the Jewish month of Av. Never heard of it? That’s alright because it’s not a major holiday, but it is Judaism’s most romantic holiday. Now I’ve got your attention.

In the Talmud (Taanit 31a), Rabbi Shimon ben Gamaliel taught: “There never were in Israel greater days of joy than Tu B’Av...On these days, the daughters of Jerusalem used to walk out in white garments…and danced in the vineyards, exclaiming: ‘Young men, lift up your eyes and see who to choose for yourself.’” It was like a Jewish Sadie Hawkins Day. Today it is not unusual for Jewish couples to get engaged or married on Tu B’Av.

I was contemplating on Tu B’Av yesterday just how lucky I am to be romantically involved with the most beautiful and compassionate woman, when I read a news story about this weekend also being the 50^th Anniversary of Woodstock—another festival of peace, love. Woodstock was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that shook this country to its core. It—more than anything else—typified the radical changes that were occurring in the very fabric of America. There were a ½ million people there coexisting on little more than good Karma, drugs and rock ‘n roll—and among them, yes, I must confess, I was there!

Yes, I was there. You can tell all your friends that your rabbi was at Woodstock. How many people can make that claim? No, I wasn’t a participant. You see my parents rented a bungalow every summer at Lapidus Bungalow Colony in White Lake, NY for over 20 years. Max Yasgur’s farm at Beth El, NY, was on the other side of the Lake. So many people came that there was a shortage of food and facilities, so we went to the main road to give out food and water. On Shabbos, I walked to Kauneonga on the northern side of the lake to shul in my platform shoes and bell-bottom pants. On the way I had to step over body after body lying in the road—and some of them actually had clothes on! And there was this funny smell in the air everywhere.

Woodstock was a phenomenon, but it’s clear that many who write nostalgically of its peace and love now also write about politics today with such hate and vitriol. They heard what went on, but didn’t listen to the message of peace and love! 

The story is told of a psychologist who was asked by a friend, “Tell me, how can you listen hour after hour, day after day, week after week, to people who pour out their frustrations and tales of woe from the couch?”

To which the psychologist replied, “Who listens?”

Yes, who bothers to listen anymore? We all know arrogant and opinionated people who are so swollen with pride—who think they know everything—that they refuse to listen to anyone. Then there are those who are so preoccupied with themselves and only listen to people and media that think like they do—that they’re deaf to the rest of the world. And then there is a 3^rd category to which most of us belong: those who are so busy listening to words and sounds that don’t really deserve a hearing—like words of nonsense, malice and greed that passes for news on TV—we have little time or patience for words that could make a difference.

There is yet a ^th category: those who hear but don’t listen. I’m sure you’ve had the experience of talking to a neighbor or a friend, noticing an empty stare. His/her mind is miles away. He seems to hear only the sounds, so you interrupt asking, “Hey, are you listening, are you really listening?” And even if the answer is yes, you have the feeling that you’re wasting your breath.

One wonders with all the crazy shootings lately—the latest just the other day in Philadelphia—would some of the killers have behaved differently if the people they had come in contact with would have really listened to them?

How many teachers spend a great deal of time preparing lessons only to be rewarded with bored expressions from their students? They’re simply not listening. Someone suggested that just as there are public speaking courses at colleges, so should there be listening courses—on how not only to hear but to listen.

Have you ever watched the United Nations in session? There are representatives of various nations who talk; others who are presumably listening and still others who make no pretense of listening but are either talking, dozing or are plugged into their I-phones. They all stress the principles of democracy and peace in the U.N. Charter, but everyone knows the words are meaningless.

The big news this week was the bruhaha over the visit to Israel of Congresswomen Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib. They were granted permission to enter Israel with the Congressional delegation last week. Instead, they decided to go on a special trip just to the Palestinian territories so they could call attention to the plight of the Palestinian cause and condemn Israel. They, Gd forbid, did not want to hear Israel’s side of the conflict that they would have also heard on the Congressional delegation. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu then said they would not be allowed to enter because, “it became clear that they were planning a campaign whose sole purpose was to strengthen the boycott and negate Israel’s legitimacy.”

Tlaib then sent a formal request to Minister of the Interior Aryeh Deri to visit her Palestinian grandmother in the West Bank who is in her 90’s. “This could be my last opportunity to see her, she wrote. “I will respect any restrictions and I will not promote any boycotts against Israel during my visit.”

But no sooner was she granted permission, then she abruptly canceled her visit, prompting this response from Aryeh Deri: I approved her request as a gesture of goodwill on a humanitarian basis, but it was just a provocative request, aimed at bashing the State of Israel. In other words, she never had any intention of coming. She just wanted to bait Israel into refusing her request to see her aging grandmother. And here comes Deri’s brilliant conclusion: Apparently her hate for Israel overcomes her love for her grandmother. Tlaib heard Israel’s compassionate response to her plea to see her grandmother, but she really didn’t listen!

In my experience as a rabbi and therapist I have learned that in most instances, the trouble in relationships is caused by a breakdown in communications: Husbands and wives who don’t listen to each other. Instead of talking they shout, and instead of listening they whimper and sulk. It never ceases to amaze me how people will say and do things to their loved ones that they would never say or do to a stranger.

How often do parents and children not listen to each other? Have you ever heard this one: “Leave me alone,” a child will cry. “It’s my life and I’ll do what I want when and where I want to!” But at whose expense?  

A young girl was talking to her mother while her mother was looking at FaceBook on her phone. The girl became angry and said, “Mother, you’re not listening to me!”

“Yes, I am,” responded the mother.

“But mother,” the child persisted, “you’re not listening with your eyes.”

A man once confided in me that he came to America from Poland during the Great Depression. He worked hard and did well for himself. In 1939 he received an urgent letter from his only brother in Poland who begged for an affidavit for himself, his wife and 2 children to come to America. But he was reluctant to assume the financial responsibility at that time. Then the war broke out and his brother and family were cremated at Auschwitz. His conscience gave him no peace. If he only had listened! 

The 50^th anniversary celebrations of Woodstock kicked of Thursday night with a concert by Arlo Guthrie. Ringo Starr, Santana, John Fogerty and others will be headlined over the weekend. You can call me an old hippie, but I think together with Tu B’Av the message of the week is a message we all need more than ever: “Peace and Love.” My friends, let’s look upon each other—whether we agree or disagree with each other’s politics—with love and treat each other peacefully—absent of all the hatred and vitriol of our world.

Today’s Torah portion contains the Shema Yisrael (Listen Israel). It’s not a coincidence that this, our most important prayer, urges us to 1^st listen and really hear. May we heed this advice. Amen!