BEREYSHIT 5786

Loneliness, the Plague of Our World

Is this a good world or a bad world? You can make a good case either way. The Jewish view is that this is a great world! After each day of creation, what does Gd say? ki tov, “It is good.” And when creation is finished at the end of the 6^th day, Gd says: v’hiney tov m’od, “It is very good!” For all its foibles—mostly caused by humans—the world is not just good; it’s very good; it’s wonderful!

 Is there anything in Gd’s creation that Gd decides is not good?” After the creation of Adam, Gd says (Gen. 2:18): Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado (It is not good for a person to be alone). Gd’s 1^st comment on human nature is how bad it is to be alone. The 1^st thing that Gd condemns in creation is loneliness. Therefore, as soon as creation is completed, we read about a marriage—Adam and Eve—and after that we read about children and genealogy: this one begat that one begat that one, which is another way of saying, “Here’s the family.” And that’s because Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado—no one should be alone.

 There are religions that preach solitude. But for Judaism—as modern psychology affirms—relationships are crucial for a healthy and productive life. In fact, the rabbis ask an interesting question: “Why was Adam lonely before Eve?” After all, he could talk to Gd and the angels.

         Their answer is fascinating: “The reason Adam was still lonely—even in the presence of the angels—is because the angels didn’t need anything from him, and one is lonely only if someone doesn’t need them.” You have to be able to give in order to feel a powerful connection, and someone who doesn’t need you can’t take away your loneliness. Perhaps that is why the Hebrew word for “love” is ahava, from the root hav, which means “to give.”

 How do Jews toast? L’chayim, “To life!” But the word chayim is plural, so l’chayim literally means, “to lives.” When you drink l’chayim, it’s a wish for a shared life with others, so we won’t be lonely. 

 Now that phrase, Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado (It’s not good for a person to be alone), does not mean that you should never find yourself alone—quite the opposite. Moments of solitude are terribly important. But the truth is, most of us are not really comfortable being alone with ourselves.

 It sounds strange, but it’s true. When you walk into your home and no one is there, what do you do? If you’re like most people, you’ll immediately turn on the tv. In our cars, it’s the radio or streaming apps. We can’t even get into an elevator without hearing muzak (elevator music). We walk around with those white ear-pods in our ears—oblivious to the world around us. Why can’t we just take a walk and be alone with ourselves? What are we afraid of? But we must spend time with ourselves so we can hear our inner voice and feel the Presence of Gd as well.

 Rebbe Nachman (Likutey Eytzot) teaches: A person should make it a point to be alone with himself for at least a few minutes each day. I love his next sentence: Anyone who can’t be alone with himself has to be very poor company for others!

 I know that if someone were to call the shul and ask to speak to me, and the secretary—if I had one—were to say: “The Rabbi is busy now, he’s talking to someone,” they would understand. But if the secretary were to say: “The rabbi is busy now, he’s talking to himself,” or, “he’s listening to himself,” they would be confused. If we never have a moment for ourselves, if we never have a moment to catch our breath, and think or feel or pray or just to be, then what kind of lives are we leading?

 Solitude played an important roll in the lives of all our great leaders. Moses was up on Mt. Sinai twice for 40 days and nights. Abraham had his moments alone with Gd. But solitude is chosen. Loneliness is the plague of an inability to break out of solitude, to find someone else who shares your soul, whose life is intertwined with your own. 

 Today we began again the reading of the Torah with the story of creation. What’s the greatest mystery about creation? It’s not how long did it take Gd to create the world. It doesn’t really matter to most people if it was 6 days or 6 billion years.

         The greatest mystery is not why Adam sinned…or why Gd placed Adam in a garden…or what it means that Eve was created from Adam’s rib…or why it is, by the way, that the creation of Adam, man, is mentioned in one verse and the creation of women takes up 6 verses. No, the greatest mystery is why did Gd all of a sudden decide He’s got to have a world? 

 I’m not sure I know the whole answer, but I can tell you that according to Kabbalah, Gd created the world in order to have an opportunity to display His goodness. So, He created a being in His image that could appreciate Him. The Midrash (Bamidbar Rabba) puts it in more personal terms—terms that I would not dare to say on my own because it speaks of Gd in human terms. The Midrash tells us that Gd created the world because He was lonely. Which means that when Gd said, Lo tov heyot Adam l’vado, (It’s not good that a person should be alone), it was because Gd empathized with the ache in Adam’s heart. Gd knew how painful loneliness is.

 So, as the Midrash teaches, we share with Gd the ache of loneliness and the need for love. And at the very beginning, the Torah makes clear what is most important. Gd doesn’t say that it’s not good for Adam to be unintelligent. He doesn’t say that it’s not good for Adam to be untalented; or it’s not good for Adam not to go to the best schools. What He said was: “It’s not good is for Adam to be alone!”

 Let me tell you about someone who has been all alone for 2 years—just released hostage Rom Braslavski, who was tied up all that time in a small dark cell. Story by Kira Feldman: He wakes up in darkness. He doesn’t know what day it is, whether he has eaten today or yesterday, or if it will matter tomorrow. His body aches; his hands are weak. He’s tied up, unable to stand, and falls back onto the thin mattress. The sores itch, infection rages inside and out—but the mind is the worst wound of all.

         He hears his own breathing, loud against the silence. That silence is broken only by distant footsteps, the drip of water somewhere…His hands clasp in prayer: Shema Yisrael. His jailers asked him to convert to Islam, to betray the truth in his heart. Quietly, he whispers to himslef, “I’m Jewish. I’m Jewish.” Because what else remains when both body and hope are stripped away?

         He remembers helping people at the Nova festival before it all collapsed—the panic, the cries, the bodies. He remembers getting 2 women to safety and tells himself, I did what I could. But there, far away and unseen, he wonders if what he did matters. He wonders if anyone still remembers him.

         Sometimes he thinks of home. Loneliness presses on him like a weight—not just because he’s alone, but because the world goes on without him. He imagines people at home eating, sleeping, laughing—mothers cooking, friends at the beach, families gathering for holidays. And there, suspended in his cell, he becomes invisible—even to himself.

         When he saw a video of himself, he barely recognized that hollow figure. The eyes reflected what captivity had made of him. He wept—not always in sound, but in the emptiness between heartbeats. He didn’t want to die. He only wanted someone to see him, to hear him, to act—to bring him home. And now, Baruch Hashem, Rom Braslavski is home again—alone no more!

 Dr. Darren J. Edwards, in an article in Psychology Today (8/27/25), describes recent attempts to relieve loneliness through AI Artificial Intelligence: Loneliness may be described as the great silent epidemic of our world. Despite living in a hyper-connected world, where social media platforms promise constant interaction and hundreds of “friends” at our fingertips, many people report feeling isolated, unseen, and emotionally unfulfilled … Increasingly, some individuals are turning not to other people, but to artificial intelligence—AI companions for a sense of connection and belonging … Paradoxically, the more we immerse ourselves in social media for connection, the more we may risk feeling hollow and unseen … However, while AI companions can offer temporary relief from loneliness, they don’t replace the profound psychological and emotional nourishment of a human connection … Friendships, family ties, and community protect against mental illness and provide resilience in the face of life’s challenges.

Would you believe that thousands are now using AI for friendship and connection? Some even for love!?

 My friends, what’s our job as human beings, as Jews? To ensure that we have community, that we have connections and relationships. The curse of life is not when we cannot create—but when we cannot love. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 4:5) teaches: Nivra adam y’chidi (Each human being was created single). And we are challenged to overcome that singleness … to make our hearts tender enough … and our hearts open enough to make room for another, to be able to love and be loved. 

 The Ramban (Emuna Ubitachon 24) explains from a Kabbalistic teaching that: Each Neshama (holy soul), before coming to this world has both a male and a female component. When it’s time for the soul to begin its journey to his world, Gd splits the soul into those 2, occupying 2 different bodies. The quest of life is to find the other half of your soul—your soul mate.

I’ve been privileged to spend some time with Joseph and Elaine, and I can tell you they are an amazing couple that has been fortunate to have found the other half of their individual soul.

 This Shabbos is the real beginning of the New Year. The holidays are finally over. As I was walking around with the Torah this morning, many said, “Good Shabbos,” but someone mistakenly said, “Gut Yom Tov.” I said, “No, no, no; the Yom Tovim are over.” That’s it, no more holidays; at least until Chanukah. Finally, it’s just Shabbos. At this, the Shabbos of beginnings, as we begin the Torah anew, and as Joseph and Elaine prepare for the life journey together, our prayer should be Adam’s prayer: Ribono shel olam, Master of the universe, may this coming year never find us, or you Hashem, alone. Amen!

HAAZINU 5786

Finding Gd In History

Tragedy struck on Yom Kippur morning when a terrorist attacked the Heaton Park Hebrew Congregation in Manchester England, killing 2 with several others wounded. It was Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. It makes one wonder, does Gd really watches over His people?

In Moses’ swan song to the Jewish people in today’s Torah reading, he tells them (Dev. 32:7): “Remember the days of old; understand the years of generation after generation; ask you father and he will relate it to you, and your elders and they will tell you.” Rashi, in his commentary, explains the words “understand the years of generation after generation” as a criticism against the Jewish people: “If you pay attention to history, you will see that Hashem has the power to care for you and that He will bring you to the days of Moshiach and the World to Come.”

Rashi seems to be saying that by studying Jewish history and all that Gd has done for the Jewish people, one will come to a powerful faith in Gd. The problem is that just the opposite seems to be true. Jewish history shows the story of an oppressed people who went from exile to expulsion, from tyranny to oppression. It begs the question: How could Gd sit back and watch as His people—His Chosen Nation—are tortured and oppressed throughout the generations?

The reality is that it has been a rocky 2,000 years. From the destruction of the 2^nd Temple until now, the Jewish people have lived through every imaginable and unimaginable horror. We’ve lived through the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, blood libels, pogroms, persecution, mass murders, the Holocaust and Oct. 7^th. Whenever technology devised a new method for torturing, it was used on Jews. Whatever diabolical means were concocted for one to kill, it was used on the Jews. We were stabbed, shot, hung, executed, clubbed, burned, gassed, and beaten to death. Historically, there was no shortage of creativity when it came to killing Jews. And if a nation didn’t kill us, they often threw us out. If you were to count nations from which we were expelled en masse, you would have a world atlas!

Throughout history everything changes: beliefs, culture, language, dress, and modes of government. It seems that there is only one constant, one immutable law of nature: Hating the Jew. So, how can Rashi tell us that a careful study of these events will strengthen our faith? Quite the contrary, it seems to be the greatest challenge to our faith.

The answer is to try to see the big picture and the reasons behind what happened. When you’re flying and have a window seat, if you look out the window you may experience an almost eerie widening of perspective. As the plane taxis to the runway, the world looks normal—buildings and cars are the size they always are. However, as you ascend, a strange perspective shift begins. The usually large buildings begin to shrink. Highways look like ribbons winding around in patterns, and entire blocks of houses look like Legos set in orderly patterns.

At 35,000 feet, the world looks different. Patterns begin to emerge; neighborhoods can be identified; cities can be seen for their true size and scope. Your entire viewpoint changes. This is a powerful metaphor, because while we live life on the ground level, it can better understood it at 35,000 feet. In the hustle and bustle of life on earth, it becomes impossible to see the larger pattern. Only at 35,000 feet, can we begin to see the bigger picture—the rhyme and reason behind things.

The inexplicable reality is that after millennia of torture and oppression, the Jewish nation is still intact. Oddly enough, of all the ancient peoples, only the Jews remains.

Where is the Egyptian monarchy now? The Greek/Syrian dynasty? The powerful Roman Empire? All of these “great” nations had their moments. Their star shone bright for a time, but now they’re gone—never to be heard from again. Of all the ancient peoples, we alone survive. The lone wolf among the nations of the world—we, always hated, hounded and oppressed—we alone survive while all our powerful enemies are no more.

But even more, we now find ourselves back on our own land—occupying the very same cities described by the Bible. We have again settled in the places where our forefather walked. Never in the course of history has an indigenous people been exiled, remained intact generation after generation, and then reclaimed their homeland—a land they left almost 20 centuries earlier. It is so remarkable that it begs the question: “Is this possible?!”

The final piece of the puzzle is that we have kept our ways. We study the same Torah that echoed in the Jewish study halls of ancient Rome. We keep the same mitzvot as did the Jews who lived during the 1^st Temple. We wear the same tefillin as did the Jews who lived during the time of King David. Rav Yonason Eibichitz says this is a miracle even more stunning than the splitting of the Red Sea.

If one studies these phenomena, he will quickly recognize that it can’t be. According to all the laws of nature, the Jewish people should not exist. We should have been wiped off the face of this planet long ago. Yet, we survived and we flourish. To this day, we adhere to Hashem’s Torah with our homeland, the Land of Israel, a Jewish State—as vibrant as ever.

My friends, the message is clear to anyone who will open their eyes. The Jewish people are Hashem’s people—with a unique destiny. Our very existence is the greatest proof of the existence of the Master of the World Who watches over and protects us.

From our perspective on earth, we can’t understand the Yom Kippur tragedy in Manchester, England. We can only say that these korbanot, these human sacrifices killed by this horrific act of terrorism, are somehow part of Gd’s great plan for the Jewish people that can’t be understood on ground level—only at 35,000 feet or above in Heaven.

May Gd comfort their families, and all of us, for this loss. And May Gd help us wipe out hatred and bigotry and bring the final redemption of peace and tranquility to our world. Amen!