5779 - Congregation Shaarei Shamayim

: 24 September 2023

SHABBAT SHUVA HAAZINU 5784

SHABBAT SHUVA HAAZINU 5784

Life After Death

Peggy Lee sang about her disappointments in life: “Is that all there is?” The song ends: “When that final moment comes and I’m breathing my last breath, I’ll be saying to myself, ‘Is that all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing, Let's break out the booze and have a ball, If that’s all there is?’”

This is one of the great questions of life: “Is that all there is?” Is this life the only life? Is there a Heaven, a World to Come?” How do we know? Does the Torah ever speak about it? This week’s Torah portion ends (Deut. 32:49-50) with Gd telling Moses to ascend Mount Nevo to see the Promised Land before he dies and is told: v’heyaseyf el amav (he will be gathered to his people).

This verse is one of the most famous references to our belief in the afterlife. Later, the Torah tell us (Deut. 34:6) Moses died alone, and no one knows where he is buried. If he was alone, then where are these people with whom he will be gathered? Therefore, “gathered to his people” must have a higher meaning! When we pass from this existence into the next, we will be gathered, reunited with our people, our loved ones that have passed before us. And yet so many Jews struggle with this.

A very prominent physician, who is not a member of this congregation and who I had become friendly with, came to see me in my office. He was somewhat troubled and needed to talk. He is a very caring doctor, and when a patient dies, he almost always attends the funeral. He told me that when he attends a Christian funeral, the minister usually emphasizes that we should rejoice for the deceased is going to a better place—heaven. This thought he found very comforting. But when he attends a Jewish funeral, the rabbi usually speaks of how we can keep the deceased alive in our hearts and memory by living according to the noble ideals the deceased stood for. “Rabbi,” he asked, “do we Jews believe in an afterlife?”

“Of course we do,” I reassured him.

If so, what happened to this belief? Why do most Jewish parents fumble all over themselves when their kids ask them about what happened to grandpa after he died? It’s not really the parents’ fault. In our modern sophisticated world where science and technology can solve all problems, we have de-emphasized the spiritual side of our traditions. If there is no verifiable proof that we can measure, it does not exist. Heaven cannot be measured, quantified, and so heaven is only fantasy.

But an understanding of life beyond the grave is crucial to the search for meaning in our lives. Dag Hammerskjold, former Secretary General of the U.N., once wrote: “No choice is uninfluenced by the way in which the personality regards its destiny, and the body its death. In the last analysis, it is our conception of death which decides our answers to all the questions that life puts to us.”

It’s true! This is not the sort of thing we articulate even to ourselves. We really don’t take time out to think about what will happen to us. Nevertheless, we do have a certain view of what our destiny is, and our lives are lived with an understanding of that destiny—be it that there is no life beyond the grave and hence “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may die,” or there will be a final accounting of our souls, and I will meet so and so in the afterlife. He/she knows what I am doing here now—he/she being my parents, my grandparents, my spouse, my siblings, whomever. In fact, when we go to visit our loved ones at the cemetery before Yom Kippur or a simcha, like a wedding, we go, not only to ask them to pray for us from their position on high with Gd, but to tell them what is happening with the family, to give them a little nachas—a little pride and joy.

So, here’s a good question to ask ourselves before Yom Kippur: How are you going to make your major goal in life accumulating another couple of bucks, if you believe that there will be a final accounting, and that this is not the sort of thing that really counts in the end? How are you going to make your most important driving force in life revenge, getting back at someone else when you discover that the secret to life is to love, and to love more so that your soul can grow?

Rav Yosef Ber Soloveitchik, z”l, my teacher, would tell the story of when he was a small child, he overheard his father and grandfather arguing about what Rambam (Maimonides) said. He then asked them, “But Abba and Zeyde, if you’re not sure what Rambam said, why don’t you just knock on his door and ask him?” The Rav describes how he cried when his mother explained that Maimonides died hundreds of years ago. But to Rav Soleveitchik, he was never really dead. For him, he was always alive. The idea is that to be remembered after life in this world depends on what one does in this world. When you positively influence the lives of others, you continue to live here on earth—even beyond the grave.

But is there a world beyond this world—what Judaism calls Olam Haba (the Next World, Heaven, Life after Life)? You might ask, “Has anyone ever come back to tell us about it?” And surprisingly, the answer is “YES.” There are tens of thousands of people who have had near-death experiences and have come back to tell us about them. Books, magazines and television shows periodically report them. The sages of Kabbalah have talked about it for thousands of years.

The experiences are mostly the same. While suffering a near death experience where one is clinically dead, there is a sensation of leaving the body and traveling through a dark tunnel towards a glorious light. Relatives and loved ones come to greet them while a panorama of their lives—much like a movie—unfolds before them. There is a feeling of great remorse as they view events from their lives that they are not particularly proud of. Perhaps this is part of the judgement process. Then they are told that it is not their time, and they have to go back, although almost everyone wants to stay.

I would venture to say that just about everyone here today knows someone who has had such an experience, only you probably don’t know who they are because they are reluctant to talk about it for fear of seeming crazy.

There has been a good deal of scientific research into near death experiences. Dr. Michael Sabom, a professor at Emory Medical School has written a book Recollections of Death, a Medical Investigation in which he brings many stories to support this. One of the 1^st to really collect stories of this kind was a prominent physician and physicist, Sir Dr. William Barret, of the Royal College of Science and Dublin. His wife was an obstetrician. As she was once delivering a baby, the mother went into the throws of death. Afterwards the mother described her experience. After going through a long dark tunnel toward the light, she saw her father who had died coming to greet her. She then cried out, “Oh my Gd, that’s impossible. He has Vita with him.” Vita was her sister who had died 3 weeks before, but because of the delicate nature of her pregnancy, they hadn’t told her! This and thousands of similar stories are eyewitness confirmation of life after death!

What would you say if I told you that Judaism does NOT believe that when we die, we will go to Eternal Life? You might say, “How can a rabbi say that?” The answer is that you won’t go to Eternal Life when you die because you are living Eternal Life now! Your soul existed before you were born in the World of the Souls. It exists in you now and when you die it will return to the World of the Souls. If I’ve whetted your appetite and you want to hear more why we believe this, let me know and we can sit and talk or if there is sufficient interest, I’ll give a few classes.

If you will ask me, “Rabbi, can you honestly believe all of this?” I would answer by reading to you a beautiful Midrashic story, by Y. M. Tuckachinsky I’ve told in some of my classes, but let me share it with you now:

There were once twins in the womb of a mother about to be born. [Imagine that they had consciousness and were aware of their circumstances as much as they could hear, see and feel. Imagine that they could talk and that they were having a conversation. One was an optimist, and one was a pessimist.] The pessimist says, “It looks like the end is coming soon for us, because I can feel movement, and we will probably be expelled from here soon. I don’t see how we can possibly survive.”

The other twin responds, “Stop being a pessimist. There has to be some reason why we are here all 9 months. It would be absurd for us to be here all this time just to go to extinction.!”

The pessimist says, “Sure, you and your religion. You are a fanatic. [You’re probably an orthodox rabbi.] You are an optimist, but we are doomed."

The optimistic brother responds, “I just have a feeling, a belief that there is a reason and a purpose, and that we will go on.”

The pessimist says, “All right, if you’re so smart, tell me how can we continue to exist. Here we are by this water, connected with the tube of life that is sustaining us. Obviously without all this we will die. Can you describe life out of the confines of this palace that we live in? It is impossible.”

The optimist responds, “I don’t know how, but I know that it will be.”

Suddenly the mother goes into labor, and as fate would have it, the optimist is expelled first. The pessimist inside is most anxious to hear what is going on, on the other side, and strains very closely to the walls of the womb and hears from without crying and screaming. He says, “Too bad for my brother, I guess I was right after all. Poor boy, he is gone.”

While on the other side at the very same moment, happy mother and father are wishing each other Mazel Tov at the birth of a new child, who has gone from one kind of existence to another. While in the other kind of existence, no one would be able to describe, predict or imagine the other.

The point of the story is that even as there is one kind of existence leading to another in the birth of a baby as we enter this world, so too we believe that when our story is finished here and we hear the cry and the scream as we leave this world, someone in the World to Come is saying, Mazel Tov, welcome home, glad to have you back.”

So, no Peggy Lee. This world is not all there is. Amen!

: 19 September 2023

Rosh Hashanah 1st Day 5784

Rosh Hashanah 1^st Day 5784

Once upon a time there was a tavern

Where we used to raise a glass or 2

Remember how we laughed away the hours

Dreamed of all the great things we would do?

[Sing with me] Those were the days, my friend

We thought they’d never end

We’d sing and dance forever and a day

We’d live the life we choose

We’d fight and never lose

For we were young and sure to have our way…La la la

Those were the days. Really? There’s a beautiful Sephardic prayer recited after the last prayer service of the year and right before the 1^st service of the New Year with the refrain: Tichleh Shana v’Kililoteha. (May the year end, and its curses), Tachel Shana u’Virchoteha (and let the New Year begin with its blessings). What blessings do we have? Mass shootings? Inflation? Trumps’s indictments? Hunter’s scandals? Immigration? Climate change? These are our blessings?

Here are some headlines I’ve recently seen

- “The American Century is Over”: Harper’s Magazine

- “Is America in Decline?”: Economist Magazine

- “Big Tech is Bracing for Possible Recession”: Washington Post

- “A Country Fractured”: Time Magazine

- And then there was this one from the New York Times: “We are Depressed, Anxious, Tired and Distracted.”

- and from CNN: “Antisemitic incidents in the US are at the highest level recorded since the 1970s.”

The media leads us to believe that the world is falling apart, that things have never been worse. I don’t belittle any of these serious issues. But some of you are not going to like what I have to say, because I have good news—and many Jews don’t like hearing good news—the like to kvetch! I want to tell you today on Rosh Hashanah that the world is Not falling apart. Don’t listen to the Chicken Littles of this world that the sky is falling. In fact, the world has never been better!

Don’t believe me? Let’s start with the last headline. Antisemitism is on the rise in America—at least that’s what everyone is saying. It’s true, the number of antisemitic incidents we track has dramatically increased. The demonization of Israel and its supporters have become routine. In academia and even in popular culture, the acceptance of myths about Jews “oppressing the Palestinian people of color” is rarely even challenged.

Are Jews really in serious trouble here in America? Do you know in the past 1900 years, wherever Jews were living— whether from England, France and Spain where they were expelled, in Czarist Russia, the Ottoman Empire, or N. Africa, every single one of those Jews would have given anything to move to Toco Hills! (A handful might have held out for Sandy Springs!)

I heard an amazing insight by Rabbi Mannis Friedman that turns this belief on its head: The truth is that Antisemitism is failing. Pro-semitism is growing. There’s a huge Menorah standing in front of the Kremlin—the house that Stalin built! There’s a huge Menorah on Hanukkah in front of the Brandenburg Gate—the center of Nazi activity—the house that Hitler built! There’s a huge Menorah in Dubai—a Muslim country. And where you have a Menorah, you can expect to have a kosher restaurant—because what do you do after you light the Menorah? You’ve got to have some latkes. So, there’s a kosher restaurant, a Chabad house and a Chief Rabbi in Dubai. Antisemitism is not what it used to be.

He’s right! Jews and Jewish folkways have become “trendy” in American culture.

· Thus, comedians like Jon Stewart and the Saturday Night Live cast frequently use Jewish references and expressions on their shows.

· The NY Times recently reported that Havah Negilah is “now being played at non-Jewish weddings, sporting events and trendy bars.” Havah Negilah, in case you didn’t know, is a Jewish song. And we owe a debt of gratitude to Harry Belafonte for its popularity.

· And if that’s not enough, after checking dozens of hot dogs, guess which hot dog the Wall Street Journal chose as the best in America? Hebrew National! It answers to a higher authority!

· There is now an annual Seder in the White House.

This is why I think that the recent brouhaha of attributing antisemitism to adding a prosthetic bigger nose to Hellen Mirren in the new movie “Golda” about Golda Meir, and to Bradley Cooper playing Leonard Bernstein in the soon to be released movie “Maestro” is much ado about nothing. Pew studies again and again confirm that, “of all the religious groups in the U.S., Americans feel most warmly toward Jews.” In fact, 92% of Americans look favorably at Jews! 92%, can you believe that? Antisemitism is not what it used to be. Very few Americans are ansemitic!

With all the recent increase in Antisemitic incidents, with all the anti-Israel slurs in the media and by politicians like Ilhan Omar and the “squad,” with overt Antisemitic slurs by celebrities like Kayne West, Pink Floyd’s Roger Waters and athletes like NBA’s Kyrie Irving…can you believe that in a brief 3 decades, Jews have gone from being unwelcome at the country club to drinking 4 cups of wine at a Seder in the White House!? Yes, Jews have never had it better in America.

Most Americans, however, are really concerned these days—unable to see hope for the future. They yearn for the good old days. When asked if life in their country is better or worse today than 50 years ago, 31% of Britons, 41% of Americans and 46% of the French say it’s worse.

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I can’t predict what will happen in this New Year. But I can offer some comfort in telling you that the “good old days” some of us long for, were NOT as good as today. Although war still rages in the Ukraine and there are a few conflicts around the globe, the truth is that war is rarer today than it has been for most of the past 50 years. Life expectancy, literacy and standards of living have all risen to historic heights. Hunger, child mortality, extreme poverty have also declined.

People have a tendency to picture the past as this magical time, something much better than it really was. “Those were the days my friends” is a great song, but its message is: now we’ve got problems, but back then? As Archie and Edith Bunker would sing, “Those were the days…”

Well, let me tell you about those days! The Lower East Side of New York has undergone urban renewal. There are now tours there showing some of what’s left of the “good old days” that many Jews so nostalgically recall there: Yiddish theatres and synagogues and knishes and pushcarts. The truth is, it wasn’t so wonderful. I know! I used to go shopping there when I lived in NY, and it was a dump—run down, filled with poverty. Those were the days???

Nostalgia sometimes distorts the past, and we do this especially when it comes to our children. Wherever you look someone is writing about how children these days are self-centered, ungrateful and disrespectful. Need I remind you that in the “good old days” Cain killed Abel, Esav tried to kill Jacob and Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. I love hearing people bemoaning today’s youth, saying things like, “When I was a kid, in the winter I would walk a mile to school in the snow.” The truth is, kids today are what kids have always been: bearers of unlimited potential, with an inclination for the good and the holy.

We need to stop playing the “good old days” game. You think those were the days? Today we live in remarkable times—and we don’t appreciate it. Bill Gates writes: The world is progressive, and resources are becoming more abundant. I’d rather go into a grocery store today than a king’s banquet a hundred years ago.

I learned this lesson when I had my heart attack and had 3 stents put in the arteries going to my heart. That sounds like quite a big deal. Well, let me tell you … they couldn’t do it like that in the good old days! That experience taught me another lesson and I gave a sermon about it. I mentioned that when I told the surgeon that my father had a quadruple bypass at the same age he said, “So your heart condition was pre-destined at birth.” You see, my NOT exercising, my being somewhat overweight, guzzling alcohol, eating all sorts of chazerai…had nothing to do with the heart attack. I was born that way, what could I do!?

That’s what I said that Shabbos. The next day I got this email:

Dear Rabbi Kunis,

I wanted to share my reaction to what you said in your sermon about your past “indiscretions.” My lifestyle has been one of almost daily aerobic exercise for more than 45 years, a low fat, moderate to low carbohydrate diet, normal BMI, and no smoking, ever. And as a result, I will be having a cardiac catheterization tomorrow morning at St. Joseph to determine if I have a blockage causing the changes in my EKG. Additionally, I have aortic valve regurgitation that shows up as mild to severe in several echocardiograms. So—Nu Rabbi? Who had more fun getting to this point? …

I thank Gd that I live—not in the “good old days”—but now, with the medical technology that saved my life.

My friends, we don’t have to get stuck in the past. Sigmund Freud believed people cannot really change as they grow older. He most probably felt this way because of his mother. But today, mental health professionals know he was wrong! I have seen so many of you changing over the years.

· Some of you are getting more grumpy; others are becoming more grateful.

· Some of you resist change like it’s the plague; others welcome change as the antidote to “same old, same old.”

· Some of you become more miserly; others become more generous. The miserly ones are the ones constantly worrying that they are going to outlive their retirement money even though they would have to live to 150 to do that! The generous ones are those who appreciate the lesson a colleague of mine put so well, when at the funeral of a wealthy man he was asked how much the man had left, he replied: “He left it all.”

Abraham in our Rosh Hashanah Torah readings didn’t get stuck in the past. He kept moving on with his life following Gd’s direction: from leaving his homeland and following Gd to Canaan, to agreeing to send away his son Ishmael and sacrifice his son Isaac—the son of his old age. Abraham didn’t get stuck in the past, bemoaning his fate, asking why can’t things be like they used to be.

Change for the better … or change for the worse … it’s up to us. We have to make it happen. And we can only do that if we live—not in the “good old days”—but making the most out of every day! So no, my friends, the world is NOT coming apart. The sky is not falling down. Life is not worse than it was. Those were not the good old days. We are living in the good old days NOW! Life NOW is far better than it ever was and, Gd willing, it will continue to get better and better.

What we need to decide on Rosh Hashanah is how are we going to live our lives—not in the good old days of the past, but moving forward in a New Year—in a way that makes them more meaningful, more fulfilling, more exciting, happier, closer to Gd.

The rabbis teach us that the work on Rosh Hashanah is not about what you did right and what you did wrong. That’s why we don’t ask for forgiveness on Rosh Hashanah. That’s for Yom Kippur. The work of Rosh Hashanah is about “Who You Are” and “Who you can be.” Gd will forgive us on Yom Kippur, not so much for how we behaved—for none of us really merit forgiveness. Gd will forgive us for the merit of how much we yearn today on Rosh Hashanah to change, to be who we can be. If you really yearn to be your better self, Gd will forgive you on Yom Kippur to give you a chance. But if you only go through the motions on Rosh Hashanah, He’ll be less forgiving.

One of the great mistakes we make in life is not knowing the difference between what I do and what I am. They’re connected, but what I do is NOT who I am. We make this mistake A LOT. When you talk to people and they do something wrong, that’s who they become to you. But it’s what they did—it’s not who they are.

We do this to ourselves. We become the things that we do. We are rabbis, professionals, businessmen/women and Indian chiefs. We know we are not our work, but we don’t really know it. We stand before Gd on Rosh Hashanah—which is also called Yom Hadin (The Day of Judgment)—without saying the word “sin,” because sin is connected to what we did … and Rosh Hashanah is about who we are!

The prayers for Rosh Hashanah are all about Vision—about what the world could be and should be! Rosh Hashanah is a day you get to dream … to re-establish the vision for your life, to hit the reset button on your relationships. Gd starts over with the world, and you can start over with the ones you love. You weren’t the perfect spouse, parent or sibling? That was before Rosh Hashanah. Today, on Rosh Hashanah Gd recreates the world, and that means now you can recreate yourself and change.

So don’t let Rosh Hashanah slip by. Don’t waste it by spacing out during your prayers, looking forward to the meals and getting lost in random conversation—and then it’s over. Use it! Press the reset button as you speak to Gd in your language. Share your inner desires, what you want … with Gd. Get to a deeper place in your personal prayer than you’ve ever been to before. Connect to your Father in Heaven. He just wants you to be the best version of yourself.

My friends, you know what you have to do. Stop living the same year again and again and calling it a life. To truly be alive every day we must change and grow. So, stop waiting until you lose those 10 pounds, until your kids leave the house, until you retire, until your car I paid off, until your home is paid off, to decide that there is no better time than right now to take control of your life and be the person you know you really are.

Let’s start today. When you go home, be extra kind to your loved ones—especially your spouse. Show your love by doing caring things for them every day. Make Gd proud by taking on 2 new mitzvot this year that you’re not now doing like putting on Tefillin and saying Shema every weekday morning … shrimp and crab cakes have got to go (that’s a biggie!) … lighting Shabbos candles … saying a bracha before eating anything—showing some appreciation to Gd for your food.

I’m asking YOU today on Rosh Hashanah to get rid of all your excuses and make a decision to partner with Gd in drawing closer to Him—thereby making your life more meaningful, more fulfilling, more exciting and happier.

Tichleh Shana v’Kililoteha. (May the old year end with its curses), Tachel Shana u’Virchoteha (and let the New Year begin with its blessings). Amen!

: 03 September 2023

KI TAVO 5783

KI TAVO 5783

Be Grateful or Else

Today’s Torah portion, Ki Tavo, contains an essential message—part of which is the Tochecha—98 frightening curses that will befall the Jewish people if they abandon Gd and His Torah. Every single one of them actually happened. It’s so frightening that we read these curses in a whisper. It’s almost as if we’re saying, “Gd don’t pay much attention to these curses. Let not them come upon us.”

The Torah portion actually begins with the Bikurim 1^st Fruits ceremony. Farmers in ancient Israel were required to bring their 1^st fruits in baskets to the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. How much fruit was one required to bring? That was up to the farmer. It wasn’t easy in those days making the trip to the Temple. There were expanses of land that were uninhabited; the terrain was difficult, sometimes treacherous; there were criminals laying in wait on the way; and if one lived in the north it could take up to 10 days to get there with your donkey. All this just for a basket of fruits? No, it wasn’t the fruits that were important, but to show up and show your gratitude and appreciation.

Today you can get into a car and travel from the most northern border on Israel’s modern highways, and in just a few hours, be in Jerusalem. When the Temple will be rebuilt—may it be speedily in our day—I wonder how that might look. I have in my office an artist’s rendering of people pulling up to the rebuilt Holy Temple with cars, trucks, and even helicopters. I suppose one might think that one could Fedex his 1^st fruit basket like the gift baskets we send today. But how much appreciation would $45 of shipping costs be? No, for the mitzvah of the 1^st fruits one has to show up—to be there and present the fruits himself reciting a special declaration of appreciation from today’s parsha.

So, today’s Torah portion begins with appreciation and gratitude. Since we read this portion just a couple of weeks before Rosh Hashanah, let me do an appreciation exercise with you. Think of 3 things for which you are grateful. Now think of 3 more things. Could you list 10 things for which you’re grateful?

If each of us took a moment every morning to list 10 things for which we are grateful, how might that color our day? Would we smile more? Have more patience with our kids or our co-workers? Would we feel happier? More satisfied? Might we make more generous decisions about how we use our time or spend our resources? What if we listed those things at night before we went to bed and thanked Gd for them? Would we sleep better?

Well, I think so—and there’s actually hard science supporting this. Researchers at UC Berkeley found that…people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits including stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure; higher levels of positive emotions; more joy, optimism, and happiness; acting with more generosity and compassion; and feeling less lonely and isolated.

All this science just confirms what our sages taught thousands of years ago from the Bikurim 1^st fruits thanksgiving declaration in this morning’s parsha (Deut. 26:5-10) Listen as I read it to you:

An Aramean tried to destroy my father. He went down to Egypt with meager numbers and sojourned there; but there he became a nation—great, strong and numerous. The Egyptians mistreated us and placed hard work upon us. Then we cried out to Hashem, the Gd of our forefathers, and Hashem heard our plea and saw our affliction, our misery and our oppression. Hashem took us out from Egypt by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and awesome power, and with signs and wonders. He brought us to this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey. Wherefore I now bring the 1^st fruits of the soil which You Hashem have given me...

Did you notice how many specific statements of gratitude are included in this declaration of appreciation? I count 9: that Gd made our ancestors great and numerous; heard their cry; freed them from Egypt and did so with great wonders; brought them to this place (Israel); gave them the land; made it a plentiful land; and provided these 1^st fruits.

Why did Gd have to command that we make this declaration? Because it’s human nature to take for granted what we have. We must be trained to be grateful. That’s why our Sages prescribed that we should offer 100 blessings of appreciation to Gd every day. Every time we’re about to eat or drink—even water—we must thank Gd. We begin our Shacharit morning service with a series of blessings thanking Gd for our intelligence, our sight, our ability to afford shoes and our ability to walk. As I get older, I appreciate that more and more! There’s even a prayer to be recited after going to the bathroom in thankfulness that our internal plumbing is functioning. Now that’s an attitude of gratitude!

The question for our Torah portion is: why does this passage of showing gratitude precede the Tochecha—the 98 frightening curses that will befall the Jewish people if they abandon Gd and His Torah?

The answer is found in the Torah immediately preceding the 1^st Fruits ceremony. It’s the command at the end of last week’s parsha to destroy Amalek wherever he raises his ugly head. Amalek attacked the Jewish people when they left Egypt from behind where the weakest were to be found. Amalek attacked for no reason. The Jews didn’t threaten them or approach their land. Amalek attacked simply because they were Jewish! It makes no sense. Anti-Semitism never does.

What’s the message of the mitzvah of the 1^st fruits ceremony sandwiched between the passage about Amalek at the end of last week’s Torah portion and the 98 curses at the end of today’s Torah portion? The message is that appreciation and gratitude is the ultimate defense against Amalek and curses. When we’re ungrateful—the Talmud tells us—Gd will send us an Amalek of sorts to teach us a lesson. The mitzvah of the 1^st fruits is to train us to be grateful for Gd’s many blessings.

Gd is, in effect, saying, “If you disrespect Me, if you don’t appreciate what I do for you…Amalek will be on the way to attack you.” In Biblical times it was Amalek who attacked, today it’ll be the Palestinians, Hamas, Hezbollah, ISIS or Gd forbid, nuclear Iran. Gratitude to Gd is now a most appropriate and powerful lesson--especially as we approach Rosh Hashanah.

A college professor once showed his students a blank piece of paper with a small black dot in the middle. He asked them what they saw on the paper. Without fail, every student said he/she saw a black dot. The professor then said: Not one of you wrote that you see a white sheet of paper. You all only saw a small black circle…We have so many beautiful things in life—love, happiness, causes we believe in, friends, our jobs and miracles happening around us every day—but we seem to get stuck focusing on the black dot, how our financial situation isn’t great, our relationships are lacking etc…Open your eyes, don’t focus on the black dots of life. Instead, focus on the white paper, all the good you have going for you.

One last thing about gratitude. If the curses won’t motivate you to be grateful, how about happiness? Dennis Prager, in his insightful book, Happiness Is a Serious Problem, writes: Yes, there is a “secret to happiness”—and it is gratitude. All happy people are grateful, and ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that it is being unhappy that leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that it is complaining that leads to people becoming unhappy. Become grateful and you will become a much happier person.

My friends, may our reading of the Bikurim 1^st Fruits gratitude ceremony today inspire us to be grateful and better appreciate the wonderful blessings Gd has showered upon us, so that we may enter the New Year with a more grateful and a happier, more loving heart. Amen!

: 28 August 2023

KI TEYTZEY 5783

KI TEYTZEY 5783

Do You Believe in the Death Penalty?

Let me ask you: How many of you believe in the “death penalty?” Raise your hands… For those of you who did not raise your hands, what about the death penalty for Adolf Eichman? Eichman, you’ll recall, was the chief engineer of Hitler’s extermination of 6 million Jews .... Is the death penalty ok for Adolf Eichman? Not so simple, is it?

This morning I’d like us to think about the verdict given to Robert Bowers. It all began on Shabbat, October 27^th, 2018. Robert Bowers walked into the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and began shooting. Bowers had accused the Jewish people of being the “enemy of white people.” Just before the shooting, he posted a message to a web forum, saying, “I can’t stand by and watch my people get slaughtered. Screw your optics, I’m going in.” He then killed 11 Jews who came to daven and wounded many others. After being shot and wounded at the synagogue, Bowers said, “These people are committing genocide on my people. I just want to kill Jews.”

It was the worst attack on Jews in American history. What was the verdict? Bowers was sentenced on August 2^nd to die by federal execution. There was a lot of talk about whether there should be a death sentence or not.

And there’s the Jewish perspective on this that certainly had to be heard in regard to this case. What is the Jewish perspective? Well, if you look in the beginning of today’s Torah portion and you’ll see the case of the Ben Soreyr Umoreh—the wayward and rebellious son. The Torah tells us: If a man will have a wayward and rebellious son who does not harken to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother, and when they discipline him, he does not listen to them, then his father and mother shall grab him and take him out to the Elders of the city, to the gates of his place. They shall say to the elders: “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious. He doesn’t listen to our voice. He’s a glutton and a drunkard.” And all the men of his city shall pelt him with stones. And he shall die and you shall remove the evil from your midst and all Israel shall hear and they shall fear.

From this it would seem that Judaism believes very strongly in the death penalty. And yet the State of Israel does not have the death sentence. And yet, Israel put the Nazi monster Adolf Eichmann to death. He was hanged! And yet, the Talmud (Sanhedrin 71a) is emphatic that the case of the Ben soreyr umoreh (the rebellious child), lo haya, v’lo y’hiyeh (never happened and never will happen)!

So why did the Torah command us what to do with a rebellious child if its intention was never to have it carried out? It’s not that Jews don’t have children with severe behavioral issues—we do like all other people. The Torah teaches us the law of the rebellious child so that we teach our children that in Gd’s eyes, this is what SHOULD happen to you if you behave that badly—if you become a drug addict and steal from your parents, mistreat your siblings, and disrespect the family. The case of the Ben soreyr umoreh (the rebellious child) is only for what we call Divine justice—only for Gd to adjudicate. But WE don’t have the right to implement this law.

Furthermore, the Talmud notes that when the Torah says, if the father and mother bring their son to court and say, “Our son is wayward and rebellious, he will not obey our voice,” notice the text reads koleynu, “our voice” in the singular, and not “our voices,” in the plural. This means, says the Talmud, that both father and mother must have the same sounding voice in order for the law of the rebellious child to apply. And the Talmud goes on, “Since we require that they be identical in voice, we also require that they be identical in appearance and height.” Of course, it never happened!

For me, the most meaningful approach in the Talmud was Rabbi Yehuda who said: “If his mother was not suited for his father [the 2 being an inappropriate match], he is not considered a rebellious son.” In other words, if this is not a loving home—if this is a dysfunctional home—how can we so severely punish the child?

We should also note this distinction between what ought to be done and what we’re permitted to do … is very far reaching. In the written Torah there are 36 sins or crimes which carry a death penalty. And in the Talmud we are told: the death penalty can only be imposed provided that there are 2 witnesses who warn the person in advance not to carry out his action, inform him of the penalty should he disobey them, then have the person respond that he intends to carry out the action regardless. Certainly, this makes the death penalty outside the realm of the realistic. In addition, the Talmud (Mishnah, Makkot 1:10) adds that Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah said, a Jewish court that executed once in 70 years is labeled a “murderous court!”

So, should Robert Bowers be put to death? Should there be a death penalty? I would say the answer is “yes, but?” Yes, there should be a death penalty, but only for the most heinous crimes like shooting up a synagogue full of worshippers.

I started thinking about this expression, “Yes, but,” a few weeks ago when I read an article by Andrew Sullivan sent to me by my colleague Rabbi Mitchel Wohlberg titled: “The Importance of Saying Yes to the But.” And what does he mean? That in our divided country it’s so important to understand the importance of “yes, but.” And he gives examples: Yes, immigration is the lifeblood of America, but we need to control the integrity of our borders and keep the pace of migration to a sustainable level that doesn’t hurt American workers. Yes, we need to recognize and better include trans people in society, but we don’t have to abolish the sex binary, sterilize children before puberty or teach kindergarteners that they get to pick their sex like a favorite color … Yes, we should support Ukraine in its defense against invasion, but it is highly unlikely Kyiv will ever recapture the entire country, and some kind of negotiated settlement is going to be needed in the foreseeable future. And he goes on with Hunter Biden, Donald Trump, Anthony Fauci and Covid and more: Yes, but …”

And I thought how Israel could use this “yes, but” philosophy today. You’ve all heard about the controversial judicial review bill of Israel’s Supreme Court that has cause massive demonstrations in the streets of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. It received 64 votes in favor. Every single one of the 56 others were opposed. Now there is certainly room for a yes, a compromise even among the opposition. There are certainly arguments to be made in favor of the need for certain changes in the judicial system. But right or wrong, there’s so much strong opposition by so many people all over the country.

When reserve soldiers dare to boycott their Miluim obligation to serve their country for 36 days a year, it endangers the country’s security. When doctors threaten to leave the country, it endangers the health of the people. So yes … but. Or as another writer phrased it: “Sometimes being right is not enough.”

My friends, how many issues are there in your life now—in you relationships—where you know you’re right! One of my favorite expressions you’ve heard me say is: Do you want to be right or do you want a relationship. Yes, but… Amen!

: 21 August 2023

SHOFTIM 5783

SHOFTIM 5783

“How well do you know your Judge?”

Do you enjoy judging others? Isn’t it fun to sit with your friends over a beer or coffee and share the latest juicy gossip—talking negatively about everyone and anyone? Is it Ok to judge others? After all, Imitatio Dei (Imitating Gd) is a major principle in Judaism. So, if Gd clothes the naked—like He did for Adam and Eve as they left the Garden of Eden—shouldn’t we help the poor with clothing and shelter? If Gd buries the dead as He did for Moses, shouldn’t we display chesed shel emet (eternal kindness) for the dead? Gd judges us on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. So, shouldn’t it be ok for us to judge others?

It’s no coincidence that the 1^st Torah portion we read in the month of Elul—which began yesterday—before Rosh Hashanah is Shoftim (Judges) which begins (Deut. 16:18): Shoftim v’shotrim titeyn l’cha (Judges and bailiffs you shall make for yourself). So, Jews are supposed to judge.

Well, let me give you a great piece of advice. If you want to be happy, DON’T judge others! Those who set themselves up to be judge and jury over others will be miserable! You see, there’s another side to imitating Gd. If Gd judges and punishes people, shouldn’t it be OK for us to do the same? Let’s take this a bit further: the Torah (Deut. 32:35) says that Gd takes revenge. Shouldn’t it then be OK for us to take revenge? However, the Torah (Lev. 19:18) specifically commands us: Lo tikom v’lo titor (You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge). In the Bible, Gd often behaves as if He’s angry. Why can’t we behave with anger if Gd does?

The Maharal teaches that the mitzvah of imitating Gd is given to urge us to do acts of chesed, love and kindness—not to judge others, to take revenge or to act with anger.

So, the message of this being the 1^st Torah reading in this month before Rosh Hashanah is: Don’t judge others! It’s not your place, your position or your role in the world to behave as a judge. If you’re a judge in court, a teacher or a parent, then it may be part of your job. But otherwise, who asked you? You may not like what someone does; but why judge? How will it benefit you? It will only eat away at you and bring you down.

Let’s say you have a neighbor, who starts his old loud car at 6:30am every morning on the way to work, waking you up. If you want to be miserable and aggravated, judge him. Every time you look at him, see the horns coming out of his head. You’ll probably begin waking up before he starts his car—angrily waiting for him to start it!

If you want to be happy, don’t judge. Of course, you should speak to him. Tell him, “I’m a light sleeper and it’s hard for me to lose that morning sleep. Can please you get your muffler checked?” Try! Worse comes to worse, if it doesn’t work, you’re up early, you might as well get up and go to an early minyan. But if you want to be unhappy, judge him!

Your children marry, and you feel your children’s in-laws are not as generous to the couple as you are. You want to make your life miserable? Get angry. Judge them. Say to yourself, “Those tight-fisted people, they’re not nice. I knew it the 1^st time I met them.” Get yourself all aggravated and all you’ll do is upset yourself. You want to be happy? Don’t judge them. Who knows what’s going on in their lives—the financial pressures they have? Choose to be happy and don’t judge.

our married child doesn’t call? You want to be miserable? Sit down with your wife and talk harshly about your kid. Do you really want to mess up your life? Call your son and tell him how terrible his wife is. Guaranteed misery!

A surgeon once told me that his daughter was about to become engaged. His future son-in-law was a doctor. But instead of choosing a lucrative specialty like he did as a surgeon, he told me his future son-in-law is a bit lazy and decided to become a general practitioner. I could see the terrific sense of disappointment in his face. He asked me, “Should I encourage my daughter to accept his proposal?”

I said, “Yes, but with one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“That they live in another city far away from you!”

Labeling your child’s spouse as lazy is a terrible idea. Don’t judge. I promise … you’ll have a happier life.

Furthermore, the Kotzker Rebbe and the Sfas Emes take special note that the word l’cha (yourself) in this opening verse of our parsha is in the singular, teaching that each of us should judge and bailiff for ourselves—trying to keep ourselves on the right track. After all, isn’t this what we’re supposed to as we prepare for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?

One more lesson about judging: Let’s say you can’t resist judging someone because you’re so hurt and can’t get past it. If your defense is to be like Gd Who also judges, let me ask you, what about taking a bribe? Is a judge allowed to take a bribe? Of course not! Does Gd take bribes?

There is a great Midrash (Bamidbar Rabbah 11:4), on the 3^rd verse of the priestly blessing: Yisa Hashem panav eylecha v’yaseym l’cha shalom, “May Hashem lift up His face to you and grant you peace.” “Lift up the face” is an expression that also means “to overlook.” In other words, the blessing can be understood as: “May Hashem overlook your sins and grant you peace.” The Midrash has Gd saying: Ani nosey panim, “I overlook; I take bribes from people who do good deeds; I take that into account.”

There’s an old favorite story of mine about a businessman who dies and goes up to that line that decides whether he gets into heaven or not. In front of him he sees a man being asked about the good deeds he’s done. After he finishes, the angel in charge tells him to go through the gates into heaven. When it’s the businessman’s turn, he clears his throat and says, “I didn’t have time for good deeds, and haven’t given much to charity.” He then takes out his check book and says, “Just tell me how much it’ll cost, and I’ll write you a check.”

The angel says to him, “Checks? We don’t take checks up here. We only take receipts.” In heaven they take receipts. It’s not a joke. It’s true. Do you want to bribe Gd? Come up with receipts. Donate a new Mechitza in your shul. Help with our Backpack Buddies that help feed poor kids on the weekends. Find ways to help others in need. Ask your family—when the time comes—to bury you with your receipts. These kinds of bribes are welcome in Heaven.

If you have a dispute with long-time friends, or with family, are you going to judge them? What bout the good memories of the good things that have happened over the years between you? Accept them as a bribe. So, if someone in your family hurts you, accept your good times with them in the past as their bribes.

For 20 years I’v been listening to Rabbi Yisrael Reisman’s (Shoftim #143:40 min) Saturday night Navi Shiur Bible class. Once he told the story of when he was given a ticket for going the wrong way on a one-way street in Brooklyn. He told the policeman, there was no sign saying this was a one-way street, but the cop told him, “Tell it to the judge!”

It was a few months till his court date, and he became more and more nervous as it approached. He asked a student to take pictures of the street corner without a one-way sign and carefully prepared what he was going to say. When he finally appeared before the judge—low and behold—the judge was a student of his in his Saturday night Navi Shiur Bible class! The policeman told the judge what happened, and Rabbi Reisman produced the pictures and told his side of the story. Guess what happened. He was acquitted. Baruch Hashem!

My friends, this month before Rosh Hashanah is called Ellul. Our Sages say it’s an acronym of the verse from Song of Songs: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li (I am to my beloved as my beloved is unto me). What’s the connection between Rosh Hashanah and beloved? If our judge is also our beloved, it makes a difference.

So, I ask you, “How well do you know Hashem your Judge?” Now’s the time this month before Rosh Hashanah for us to think about what we can do now to get closer to the Supreme Judge—to know Him better—before our judgment. Amen!

Sermon Archive

SHABBAT SHUVA HAAZINU 5784

Rosh Hashanah 1st Day 5784

KI TAVO 5783

KI TEYTZEY 5783

SHOFTIM 5783

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