Chanukah 5785

It’s beginning to look a lot like … like what?

It's beginning to look a lot like ... like what? This is one of those years that Gd played a trick on us. He made Chanukah and Christmas on the same day! Normally Chanukah takes place before Christmas—so we’re celebrating and they’re not, or they’re celebrating and we’re not! Since 1900 there have been only 4 times that the 1^st night of Chanukah began on Christmas Day: 2005, 1959, 1921 and 1910. The 5^th takes place this year.

So, this year we don’t have to feel left out. Our children are off from school just as their children are. We’re singing Chanukah songs while they’re singing Christmas Carols. We’re giving gifts while they’re giving gifts—no “December dilemma.”

And so, I’d like to put Christmas aside and focus on Chanukah and a beautiful idea from the Chanukah story. Chanukah is an incredible holiday because it doesn’t feel like a typical Jewish holiday with sitting in shul for special Chanukah services, with long family meals and with days off from work.

How do we celebrate? Not much during the day. At night we pause for a few minutes, make 2 0r 3 brachas and light candles. It doesn’t seem like there’s not much there—a few bracha and a few candles. Yet the rabbis gave us one more thing to do: Pirsumey Nisa (Publicizing the Miracle). This means we have to not only light a Chanukia Menorah, it’s a mitzvah to publicize its miracle. So we kindle the Chanukah lights at a time and place where most people can see it—and that is in the early evening by a window or door facing the street.

What is the miracle of the Chanukah lights? You know the story. A long, long time ago, Jews came into the Holy Temple after it was defiled by Antiochus and tried to light the Menorah—but they couldn’t find any oil that wasn’t defiled by the Syrian Greeks. What happened? They searched and searched and finally found only one jug of pure oil—enough for only one night. Nevertheless, they lit it, and it lasted for 8 nights till they could get more pure oil. That’s the miracle.

That’s today’s equivalent might be you leaving on vacation and on the plane you notice your cell phone battery is at only 20%—and you forgot your charger! Nevertheless, it lasts till you get home 8 days later! Now that’s a Chanukah miracle!

However, that was only the 2^nd miracle. The 1^st miracle was that the Greek army invaded Israel, forbade the practice of Judaismn upon penalty of death, and tried to conquer the land. A family of Kohanim/priests that were hiding from the Syrian Greeks in caves in the hills of Modiin stood up. Remember, these were priests—not trained soldiers! They didn’t have swords or spears. And yet they challenged the greatest army in the world. It was insane. It would be like my and a bunch of my rabbi colleagues going up against the Navy seals??? Impossible!!! Now that was a miracle!

Let me give you another contemporary comparison. Let’s say you were driving around in Israel and made a wrong turn into Ramallah—a scary Arab neighborhood where they throw rocks and intimidate Jews. Soon your car is encircled by shouting terrorists. Can you imagine? It would seem like your life was over—Gd forbid.

         Now it just so happened that down the block a bunch of Israeli commandos were on a raid. They heard the commotion, came by and saved the day. Miracle. Right? You were almost dead. You’re all shaken up, so one of the commandos gets in your car to drive home with you. On the way home he sees you’re not calming down, and so he says, “There’s an ice cream store nearby, let’s get some.” You get there and it’s closed. The commando knocks on the door, and it so happens that the owner had come by to work in the back on his books. After he heard what happened, he gave you free ice cream.             The next day you meet a friend who heard what happened and you said to him, “It was a miracle. Can you believe the ice cream store was open so late?”

         And the friend replied, “What? I heard you were in Ramallah—headquarters of the PLO—and you think the miracle was the ice cream store?”

In the Chanukah story we defeated the Syrian Greeks—an impossible miracle! So why is the symbol of Chanukah the Chanukia Menorah and the lights and not the battle? Like the ice cream in the story, the lighting of the Menorah came after they had already won the war. Our Chanukah symbols should be swords and spears—not candles, not sufganiot donuts!

Now we come to this powerful idea I want to share with you. King Solomon taught in Proverbs (20:27): Ner Hashem, nishmat adam (The candle of Gd, is the neshama [soul] of man). Candles are a very powerful symbol in Judaism because they symbolize the soul. When someone passes away, we light a Shiva candle. Every year on the anniversary of the death we light a Yahrtzeit candle. Just like fire reaches upward, so the soul. That’s why we light Shabbat candles—to reach upward and elevate our homes in the spirit of Shabbat. We are more than just animals. What elevates us as human beings are our souls! As we read in the creation story (Gen. 2:7): Vayipach b’apav nishmat Chayim (and he[Gd] blew into His nostrils the soul of life). Gd blew into us a piece of Himself.

The Sages established the lights as the Chanukah symbol to tell us: “Do not get fooled by the hands of battle. We won the war not because of our hands, we won the war because of the Jewish soul.” Yes, it looked like we were holding guns, but those guns were being directed by a power greater than our hands. Yes, it looked like the soldiers were fighting a war, but the soldiers were really unleashing a greater power—their souls. And that empowered them to make the right moves.

We light candles on Chanukah to remember the spiritual component of this war. It wasn’t just an extra miracle at the end with the oil lasting 8 days. The Sages went for the candles to tell us not to ever forget what really won us this war. As we say in the Al hanisim prayer on Chanukah: “You delivered the strong into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few…the sinners into the hands of the students of Torah.”  And so, the Sages demanded that we don’t just light the candles, but publicize it. They insisted we show the world that battles are not just won with our hands—but by our connection to Gd.

That’s why Isaiah (42:6) calls upon us to be an Or lagoyim “a Light unto the nations.” And so, in celebrating the holiday that originates in a successful war, forget the swords, take out a few candles, stand by the window and show the world that while we can fight battles … we do so knowing that it is really the soul through Gd that wins for us. Now that’s the real miracle of Chanukah!

       My friends, this year as we celebrate Chanukah, we are still literally at war—against Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran. Since Oct. 7 2023, I have told you many miracle stories from this war. Like the more than 30,000 drones and missiles—many the size of school buses—launched at Israel. Yet, 99% of them failed to hit anything! They could have killed thousands of Israelis—they killed none. 99% accuracy is simply not huzmanly possible in defending such an attack, but it is Gdly possible.

         Or like the religious Kibbutzim who—for some reason—were not attacked near Gaza on Oct. 7.

         Or like the young man at the Nova Music Festival—which was attacked 1^st on Shabbat Simchat Torah Oct. 7—who had pledged on Yom Kippur to observe Shabbat through Simchat Torah and took 7 friends with him a couple of hours before Shabbat on Friday Oct. 6^th from the festival to Ashkelon for Shabbat—saving their lives!

There are many hundreds of such stories that seem to be coincidence, but we know that what drove their success was not the hands of battle, but the soul connection with Gd. Today we have our own Chanukah stories. When we light the Chanukah candles we say in the bracha: “Blessed are You Hashem our Gd, King of the Universe, that perfomed miracles for our forefathers, Bayamim haheym bazman hazeh, it happened then, but it’s happening now.” We can’t let this Chanukah pass without stopping to realize that Chanukah is still happening all around us.

And especially this year, we should publicize the miracles —old and new—not just by putting our Chanukia at the window, but also by telling others of the Chanukah miracles both ancient and new. And when we see these modern-day miracles, let us use them as a way to connect them to the candles, to our souls, to our own relationship with Gd!

And finally, now more than any time since Oct. 7, there is reason for optimism with the defeat of Hezbollah, the fall of the Syria, and the defeat of Hamas’ leadership and most of its soldiers. As we gaze at the Chanukah lights, thinking about            miracles both ancient and new, let us pray for the release of the hostages and a lasting peace. Amen!

CHAYEY SARAH 5785

It’s Never Too Late

Today’s Torah portion begins with the story of Abraham finding a grave for the burial of his wife Sarah. My friend and colleague, Rabbi Avi Weiss of Riverdale NY, tells the heart-wrenching story of finding the burial place for his infant son Yitzchak Rafael:  

         Yitzchak Rafael was his 3^rd child. He was afflicted with a dreadful genetic disease, lived into his 4^th month and then died. For years, he and his wife Toby found it too painful to visit the grave. They finally summoned up the courage to go and called the cemetery to ask for the location of the grave. To their deep horror and dismay, the cemetery had no listing of a grave for Yitzchak Rafael Weiss!

         They were frantic…Can you imagine??? It took them years to find the wherewithal to visit, and now they couldn’t find him! They were stymied, mystified and heartbroken. It also deeply pained them that they had never put up a gravestone monument.

         Several years later Rabbi Weiss had a funeral at the same cemetery. He approached the manager with a quickly beating heart and shaking hands and said, “I believe my infant son Yitzchak Rafael is buried here. Could you check out where his burial plot is?” He went to the back of the room, returned several minutes later and said, “I’m deeply sorry but we have no record of a Yitzchak Rafael Weiss buried here.”

         Rabbi Weiss explained how he could not find his infant dead son and asked, “Would you mind if I check your records myself.” 

         “We don’t usually do this. It’s against protocol, but I’ll make an exception for you.”

         The records were handwritten, and he read them all line by line…and then he saw it. Yitzchak Rafael was not listed as Yitzchak Rafael Weiss but as Rafael Isaac Weiss. The correct days of birth and death were beside his name. Rabbi Weiss had finally found his son!

Right then and there he resolved to put up a proper monument, but just couldn’t do it. Every year on his Yahrtzeit he resolved again but couldn’t do it. It was almost 40 years since his death when a funeral director heard the story and helped him do it. It was 40 years later, but is there ever a time when it’s just too late? 

My mother’s 1^st husband was a pilot in WWII that was shot down and killed. They never found his body. My mother always wanted to put up a monument to remember him in our family plot in Long Island, but she never could bring herself to do it. It was about 40 years after his death that she told me with tears in her eyes how she wanted to erect such a monument but just couldn’t do it. I listened and then made the arrangements, and now his monument stands in our family plot at Wellwood Cemetery.

Let me ask you: Is there er a time when the statute of limitations has passed? Is there ever a time when it is just too late to say I’m sorry? In my mother’s case and in Rabbi Weiss’s case, after 40 years, could they still rectify the wrong?

One of the basic messages of Judaism is that it’s never too late. In the Torah portion 2 weeks ago, when Hagar—the wife Abraham took to have a surrogate child on behalf of Sarah—is mistreated by Sarah and flees to the desert, an angel tells her to go back for she will have a child with Abraham whose name will be Ishmael. The Torah (Gen. 16:14) goes out of its way to record the place where this revelation occurred: B’eyr Lachai Roi (the Well of the Living One Who Sees Me). Gd saw her and her pain.

Eventually, Sarah and Abraham have their own son—Isaac. When Ishmael is caught being inappropriate with Isaac, he—with Hagar—are sent away along with Gd’s promise to watch over them. 

In today’s Torah reading, close to 40 years have passed and Sarah dies. Abraham is devastated! Our sages teach that Abraham was tested by Gd 10 times—each test elevated him spiritually. The final test, the most difficult according to most Sages, was the Akeda Binding of Isaac from last week’s parsha where he was asked to sacrifice his son Isaac. That certainly showed the greatest level of faith.

However, Rabbeynu Yona, cousin of Maimonides, maintains that Sarah’s death was his greatest test. Why? Because Sarah was his life partner on a mission to transform the world. Without her he was utterly incomplete. How sweet is that? What was the test? The test was that even without his life partner Sarah he still had to pursue his mission. And so, immediately—despite his grief—he knew he must find a burial place for Sarah and then a wife for Isaac. 

Abraham purchases a burial plot in the Kever haMachpeyla (the Cave of the Couples) in Hebron. And after the funeral, he sends his trusted servant Eliezer to his family in Mesopotamia to find a wife for Isaac. Upon Eliezer’s return with Rebecca, Isaac goes out to meet her for the 1^st time, and the Torah tells us that Isaac was coming from B’er Lachai Roi (Gen. 24:62). Sound familiar? What was Isaac doing there? And why does the Torah include this seemingly insignificant fact?

Remember, B’er Lachai Roi is the place where the angel told Hagar that Ishmael would be born. Could it be that Isaac felt responsible for their expulsion? After all, Hagar and Ishmael were sent away to ensure that he would become the next patriarch. Now 40 years later the Torah tells us he traveled to B’eyr Lachai Roi where Hagar lives. Why? The Midrash tells us that it was (Rashi Gen. 24:62) to convince her to come back to Abraham. 

Talk about sweet: pcisely when Isaac is about to marry—thereby assuring that he will become the next patriarch—he does teshuva, repentance, by inviting Hagar back into the family. Just when Abraham finds a wife for Isaac so he wouldn’t be alone, Isaac goes to find a wife for Abraham so he wouldn’t be alone!

The message is that it’s never too late! 40 years may have passed, but that doesn’t stop Isaac from trying to mend the rift he felt responsible for. Abraham never wanted to send Hagar and Ishmael away. Isaac facilitates their reconciliation along with his reconciliation with his brother Ishmael as we see them together at their father’s funeral.   

We all know of a man who made his living as a smuggler and a crook, who cheated on his wife, who wheeled and dealed and bribed his way through life—and then one day he changed. He dedicated himself to saving the lives of 1,100 Jews. Who was that? Oskar Schindler. Oskar Schindler realized that it was not too late to change and be the man he was meant to be.

Our parents are living longer these days, so now more than ever, it’s never too late to be a good child. Being a good kid when you’re 5 or 15? That counts. But to be a devoted child when you’re 50 or 60 and you live in another city—that’s when it really counts. And it’s never too late to become the best husbands and wives you can be.

My friends, it’s never too late to love; it’s never too late to reconcile with your loved ones; it’s never too late to start learning Torah; it’s never too late to draw closer to Gd taking on a stronger religious commitment; and it’s never too late to dream, to do, to accomplish. Remember Abraham didn’t start on his career as the father of our people till Gd called upon him when he was 75. And Moses didn’t become the leader of the Jewish people till he was 80! It’s never too late to be all that you can be.

 Rabbi Weiss writes about his 1^st visit to his son’s grave: There we were, Toby and I…at the grave of our infant child. Most mourning involves remembering a person’s past life; when one, however, loses a child, every day one mourns not what was, but what could have been. Every day we would ask, “And now at 10 years or 20 or 30 what would Yitzchak Rafael be like, what would he be doing?”

         …We stood near the grave holding one another. We shed tears. Toby bent over to smooth the stone as if she was cleaning the room and making the bed of her little boy. I whispered to myself, “B’ni, b’ni, haben yakir li, my precious precious son, Yitzchak Rafael, I’m sorry. Please forgive me that I’m so late. I love you Yitzchak Rafael.” And I am convinced I could hear Yitzchak Rafael say, “It’s ok Abba, I love you too.” My friends, it’s never too late. Amen!